


Find You Through Universes

by Miktokki514



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: All In + Dramarama, Alternate Universe - All In (Music Video), Gen, Hyungwon deserve happiness, Hyungwon is the biggest one, Mention of Past Violence, Minor Character Death, Monsta X are heroes, Personal interpretation, capital sins, car accident (no graphic description), read notes for addictional tags, references to Shoot Out and Alligator, x clan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:33:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 33,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miktokki514/pseuds/Miktokki514
Summary: It looked like a normal watch, round and simple. There were 12 numbers and two hands. The only abnormal thing was an additional rectangular part on the left side of the clock face, separated into four little squares. The drawing was surrounded by hundreds of writings and formulas.“What does it mean?”“They’re strange,” Kihyun whispered, trying to recognize some of the formulas he had studied until the previous year in his physics course at university. “They don’t mean anything I know, at least.”“I don’t know about those numbers, but I can read this,'' Hyungwon said, taking the second piece of paper and pointing to the sentence written with red ink on the bottom of the page.“Time… travel?” Jooheon read.The seven men looked at each other.Or, what happens when the Dramarama watch meets the All In universe?An AU story in which Hyungwon discovers the consequences of using a watch capable to travel through time and space and decides to help his friends.
Relationships: Chae Hyungwon/Everyone
Comments: 7
Kudos: 9





	1. PROLOGUE

**Author's Note:**

> Hello people! 
> 
> I've been working on this story for so long, more than a year. I actually stopped writing after what happened last year, but then I decided that it wasn't worth getting lost in my PC. 
> 
> As I said in the tags, it's an AU of the All In Universe, in which the Dramarama watch suddenly appears. All the theories are mine (and my best friend's), so you don't have to agree. I hope you'll enjoy this story!
> 
> The title is an obvious reference to Find You because that's a masterpiece that can't be forgotten. 
> 
> A big thank you and a hug to my best friend, who has helped me to write the whole story, and to my beta (you can find her on Twitter at @_jazzpurr, she's really nice!) who helped to correct it. 
> 
> The whole story is already written and I'll try to post once a week!
> 
> TW/ in this chapter there's a minor character death (not anyone who you'll care about lol), the mention of past violence, and a car accident (with no graphic descriptions). 
> 
> Enjoy

PROLOGUE

The sky was dark and cloudy. It was going to rain, thunder and lightning showing the pale face of the moon hidden behind the clouds.

Only a few street lights were brightening up the city, which was as silent as death.

There was no one to be seen.

Actually, it was highly improbable to find people roaming around at such late hours as they were risking to meet a patrol and to get into serious trouble. The great majority of the citizens had accepted that situation surprisingly easily, just accepting the new, restrictive rules of the new government as if they weren't being robbed of their freedom. They weren't happy and they lived in the constant fear of doing something wrong and hurt themselves and their families. But being alive, even if without freedom and rights, was better than being dead, after all.

Not all of them supported this kind of mindset.

Some people had understood that no one, if not themselves, could save their city. They had started to organize themselves in small secret groups, called CLANs. Each area had a headmaster, a name and a precise role in that revolution. They communicated through old radio channels and letters which can be easily burned or destroyed.

Everyone knew they existed, but everyone feared to talk about them. They were the only ray of hope for that dark period.

\---

A dark figure crossed the dim light of an old streetlight, walking quickly into a narrow street, constantly paying attention to his own surroundings. Trying to avoid any sound, the tall and slim man walked through the suburbs of the city, leaving behind the houses and following a small and gloomy path. At the end of this path, hidden by the trees, there was an old greenhouse, which was mostly used during the day by those few farmers who had no idea what really happened there once the sun disappeared behind the mountains.

One after the others, six men opened the squeaky door and entered the greenhouse, throwing a last glance back to the silent and dark countryside.

The rest of the X CLAN was already there when Hyungwon arrived that night. They were sitting in a circle and they were discussing the last raid of the military, which was desperately trying to find the members of the rebellion.

“It’s too dangerous,” Hoseok snapped, holding his fists and flexing his muscles.

“We can’t wait anymore,” Jooheon replied. He was the headmaster of the X CLAN, the one that was in charge of the northern part of the city. Jooheon looked up at Hoseok and sighed, making him sit down again beside him.

“I agree with Jooheon,” Changkyun added. Beside him, Hyungwon recognized Hyunwoo’s broad back when the man nodded. On the other hand, Kihyun and Minhyuk, the last two members, were clearly siding with Hoseok. Each of them had a specific reason to fight, something or someone precious enough to risk their own lives to protect it. They had different lives, jobs and backgrounds, but they wanted the same: freeing their country from that dictatorship and live happily again.

Nobody noticed Hyungwon when he entered the small room, and the tall guy stood silent in a corner, observing that argument while biting his own lips. Yes, he could call them friends, after all. Those six men had accepted him, despite knowing who his father was and what he had done, being part of the government. The rest of his peers had left him behind. Meanwhile those men had listened to his story and they had decided to give him a chance, showing him what fighting for a good cause really meant.

Hyungwon didn’t have anything in particular to protect. His family was rich and he had always had a quiet and safe life. He had never liked his father’s ideals and from his childhood he remembered how violent that man could become when he was angry or when Hyungwon did something he just considered wrong. For all his life, Hyungwon really believed that his father never loved him; he was just a trophy to show around. The members of the X CLAN had helped him to find something to fight for: himself, his own happiness, the happiness of the people he cared about. If his father was working to destroy everything, he would have worked even harder to rebuild that everything.

“Hoseok is right,” he said after a couple of minutes, interrupting the discussion. The rest of them looked at him, surprised and confused. “It’s not the right time to do anything.”

“Do you know something?”, Jooheon asked.

Hyungwon rolled his shoulders. “Nothing much. But I found this in my father’s office," he said, taking out a couple of folded papers from the pocket of his trousers.

Jooheon took them and asked Hyunwoo to light an old oil lamp. Even with that little light, they could clearly recognize a drawing. It looked like a normal watch, round and simple. There were 12 numbers and two hands. The only abnormal thing was an additional rectangular part on the left side of the clock face, separated into four little squares. The drawing was surrounded by hundreds of writings and formulas.

“What does it mean?”

“They’re strange,” Kihyun whispered, trying to recognize some of the formulas he had studied until the previous year in his physics course at university. “They don’t mean anything I know, at least.”

“I don’t know about those numbers, but I can read this,'' Hyungwon said, taking the second piece of paper and pointing to the sentence written with red ink on the bottom of the page.

“Time… travel?” Jooheon read.

The seven men looked at each other.

Everyone knew that the new government was hiding new and powerful technologies, but traveling through time was simply impossible. Or, at least, this is what everyone had always believed.

“This…” Jooheon hesitated, biting his lip as if something was different as he thought it would be. “This is going to change everything.” With those words, he threw a quick glance at the small door at the back of the greenhouse, where they kept the biggest of their secrets. It was hidden behind a huge shelf and it probably was the greatest mystery on earth.

“What do you mean?” Hyunwoo asked.

“Do you know what the government is planning?” Changkyun added.

“It's not difficult to imagine,” Jooheon admitted with a sigh. “But... But I honestly thought things were going to be different”. Once again, he was being enigmatic.

“Stop with your stupid mysteries, Jooheon.” Minhyuk was angry. He always was when Jooheon started talking like that, as if he really could predict the future. “What do you know?”

Jooheon didn't answer. He looked back at Hyungwon, staring at him intensely. “Nothing that can help us,” he said quietly in response.

“I can find more information,” Hyungwon said. “I can easily look through my father's office when he's not at home and-”

“Don't even think about it!” Minhyuk clenched his fists, angrier than before. “You don't have to do anything, especially if it can be dangerous for you!”

Hyungwon sighed. “Hyung, this whole situation _is_ dangerous. And I live with him, I'm constantly in danger.” His voice was flat, but Minhyuk knew how hard the situation was for Hyungwon himself.

Hyungwon's father has always been extremely violent, especially with his son, and he had reached its peak just a couple of weeks before. If Minhyuk hadn't arrived in time, or if he hadn't brought the magical serum Jooheon had created with his flowers- well, Hyungwon wouldn't be there with them.

But even if he hated his father so much, that near death experience helped him to understand that he couldn't keep living behind the others in fear, with the hope that his father wouldn't notice him. Hyungwon wanted to be in charge of his life, he wanted to help the X CLAN, he wanted to be responsible for his own choices. Those magical flowers had given him a second chance, and he didn't want to waste it living in fear.

“Hyungwon... You know you don't have to do anything to prove you deserve your place here, don't you?”

Hyungwon nodded, clenching Jooheon's hand. “It's the only thing I can do. I'll be careful, I promise. But I can't just ignore it- this could be our only chance.”

“Or it can be a trap”, Minhyuk muttered, his arms folded in front of his chest.

“Maybe”, Hyungwon said softly, reaching out with his other hand and giving his best friend a light smile. He knew how much Minhyuk cared, how scared he was and how hard he wanted to protect him. But the feeling was mutual. “But what else can we do, Min?”.

The blonde boy opened his mouth, to close it a couple of seconds after, staring at the floor with watery eyes. He understood how important that chance could be for them, he knew really well that it could have helped them to win that war. But Minhyuk didn't want to lose anyone during that fight.

“Be careful”, Jooheon murmured. “We'll think about a plan in the meanwhile”.

\---

The X CLAN needed a few more weeks to start to understand what that watch meant and how they could use it.

As far as they had discovered, the government was still developing the first sample of that peculiar watch. Not even Kihyun had managed to understand anything from those formulas, but Hyungwon had recognized from other papers he had found the symbol of the government. He didn't really know why his father was involved with this experiment: he wasn't a physicist nor a scientist, and Hyungwon feared to know what his real role was.

They started to discuss a plan. The plan itself was pretty easy: sneak into the government’s laboratories, steal the watch and turn back the time until before the beginning of the dictatorship.

A piece of cake, wasn't it?

There were so many things that could have gone wrong in just a few seconds and they were all aware of how dangerous that plan really was. It could have meant death for all of them. Even though they were ready to do anything to fight for their city.

During the next weeks, Jooheon also stopped talking about his blue flowers which had always been his most precious treasure. Since the beginning of the X CLAN, Jooheon had always been extremely vague about those flowers, their origins or their purpose. He just kept repeating that they would have become necessary at some point, but he was the only one to know how. But after the discovery of that strange watch, those flowers had lost their meaning in that story. Jooheon never said anything about them and any of them knew what he eventually did with the flowers he kept hidden in the greenhouse.

Hyungwon tried to enter his father’s office more than once, risking to get discovered and fearing for his own life. The X CLAN had to stop their research for a couple of days because the military had managed to find one of the other CLANs and all the members were killed. The situation was extremely dangerous and they couldn’t ruin everything at the last moment because they wanted a fast solution. Patience was the key, it has always been.

They kept living their everyday lives as good citizens, and when it was dark enough, they met in the greenhouse to discuss the plan and all the possible situations they would have had to face.

\---

The more time passed, the more also the government’s scientists improved their amazing discovery, creating more than one watch.

None of them had actually understood how they discovered that specific combination which managed to break up the chemical particles and open a path between different universes. They didn’t know how those universes were connected and what the consequences of their actions could have been. They didn’t know and they didn’t care, as the government only wanted the most powerful weapon to win and control everything. Once you can control time and space, you rule the word, after all.

Hyungwon just widened his eyes, unable to say anything, when his father came home, one night, and proudly showed him his new watch. He didn’t say anything, but Hyungwon recognized the design and he took the decision that would have changed his whole life.

\---

The street was empty, despite being a sunny Sunday afternoon.

Hyungwon was sitting beside his father, who was driving and talking about the event they were going to attend. The tall guy didn’t really care about it, but the X CLAN thought it could be a good chance to discover something interesting and he accepted his father’s offer to join him.

Looking outside the window, Hyungwon couldn’t stop thinking about how he could take that damn watch from his father’s arm. He never took it off, neither when he was showering or sleeping. His heart was beating like crazy, pounding in his ears while he looked at it with the corner of his eyes. The watch was there, shining on his father’s wrist, calling him.

It was so close, but so far at the same time.

Hyungwon was scared. He knew that he was the only hope of the X CLAN and of the whole city, but he was scared. His father was a violent and crazy man, he has never been satisfied with anything Hyungwon has been doing in his life and Hyungwon feared the moment he would have discovered the absence of the precious watch.

Moreover, none of them actually knew how to activate it, nor what would have happened next. That has been part of their discussions a couple of nights before. Kihyun was the smartest of them, but even if he managed to solve the equation, he didn’t know what to expect from it. It was a jump in the dark, but it was their only option.

The sudden sound of the honk of a truck woke Hyungwon from his thoughts. He didn’t really have time to realize what was happening. In a few seconds, he saw a truck running towards them, then a loud bang and dark.

He groaned at the piercing pain in his head, but he tried to open his eyes when the only sound he could ear was his heart throbbing in his chest. He needed more time to focus his view and understand what had happened. Ignoring the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, Hyungwon tried to open the door to exit the car, but it was blocked. He turned to his right and he noticed his father. He didn’t need to touch him to understand that he had died: he had a huge wound on his forehead and there was a piece of glass in his chest, right into his heart.

Hyungwon moaned in pain, but he didn’t hesitate. He unlocked his safety belt and he moved towards his fathers, ignoring again the injuries in his legs and arms. Without looking at his parent’s face, Hyungwon took the wrist with his long fingers and, trembling, he managed to take the watch off. Then, crying in pain for the sudden movement, he pushed himself over his father, he opened the driver’s door and he slided outside the car, bumping into the asphalt.

Despite the pain and the tears, Hyungwon looked at the watch. It was covered in blood, as much as his fingers, and the glass was broken in many points, but the hands were still moving, proof that the watch was working.

He made it.

Hyungwon understood that he would have fainted really soon. He pushed himself seated against the car and looked at the watch. The four small parts in the left half apparently represented the number of a year and, trying to see despite the pain, he turned the small wheel at the side, looking at those numbers. He just needed to go back a few years, just before the beginning of everything.

He smiled a bit, resting his head against the car, breathing heavily and starting to lose contact with the reality. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, but he managed to do something to help his friends. He had finally done something useful, something important. All the pain and the fears were worth it if he managed to succeed.

Though, nor even those scientists really knew what traveling through time really meant. Turning that little knob, Hyungwon had started something bigger that he could have never imagined. He had opened the path not only to the past or the future, but also to hundreds of different universes, strictly connected but independent. Universes where the same human being can live a completely different life based on different choices he made.

Taking back the time would have meant to live again, making different choices, living a completely new life . What none of them really considered, however, was that one single different choice, in life, can bring totally unexpected results and changes that no one can really imagine.

  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. HYUNWOO - SLOTH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyunwoo has lost his will to live. He just survives, as a being without a goal or a meaning.  
> His indifferent and apathetic behavior will have a chance to find a true meaning thanks to Hyungwon's help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehi 'Bebes! 
> 
> Before starting with the story, I wanted to say something. From now on, each chapter represents a capital sin, and I was kinda inspired by Alligator and Shoot Out. I've tried to represent each sin in the most simple and precise way possible and to create a story around the characters, which are obviously the members. 
> 
> Each chapter will be divided into two parts, which represent two different worlds. You will understand the pattern of the story little by little. 
> 
> Oh, and I'll use their real names simply because I don't think that their stage names are fit for this story.
> 
> TW: description of an apathetic and indifferent behavior, mention of suicide (none of the characters talk or think about it, it's just mentioned without any graphic words)
> 
> I want to thank all the people who decided to read the first chapter! Comments, suggestions, opinions, everything is welcomed!
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this.

_HYUNWOO– SLOTH_

Hyunwoo woke up with the sun on his face.

He sighed, shifting under the blankets and covering his eyes with his arms. He wasn't surprised to wake up with the sun, it had happened often lately. Actually, it may have been months since the last time he bothered to close the curtains before going to sleep. Moving his arm a little, he glanced at the clock. He still had half an hour before his alarm.

Hyunwoo groaned, stretching his long legs, his feet appearing from the bottom of the blanket. Summer was coming. He could understand it because he was waking us earlier each day. He could also understand it from the chirping of the birds outside his window and from the happy and frenetic behavior of the people around him.

Hyunwoo didn't care, though.

He didn't care about summer, nor about all the other seasons. Warm or cold, sunny or rainy, flowers or snow, nothing in his life changed. He always woke up at the same time in the morning, he drank his bitter and dark coffee, he showered and shaved and he left for work. In that monotonous and sad office, his days passed always in the same way. He had simple and mechanical tasks and he always refused to start more important projects, no matter how many times his boss had proposed to him more interesting works. After all, Hyunwoo knew nothing would have changed: he was introverted and quiet, he rarely talked with his colleagues, whether to ask for a suggestion or to share an opinion.

Hyunwoo appeared as a cold and rude person; quite the opposite, he was extremely kind and affable. He always greeted everyone, from the janitor in his apartment block, to the taxi driver who drove him to work. He was always ready to help if someone asked for him and he never refused to do someone else's work if he had time to spare. Every single action was perfect and he rarely made mistakes. He was precise and serious in every situation.

Nevertheless, there was something in his eyes and in his way of acting that made people uncomfortable around him. He rarely made a different face expressions and he sometimes looked as if he was completely lifeless. Every action, every word, everything made him look like a robot. It was almost as if he didn't need to think about his choices, in any situation. As if thinking itself was something too difficult to give it any attention. Sometimes, he also looked completely uninterested in what was happening around him. He didn't care about new things, he wasn't scared by unexpected situations, he wasn't bothered if things didn't work as they always did. Sometimes his colleagues joked that he wouldn't have noticed if a bomb had exploded in the building. He would have probably kept working, focused on his computer, and he would have switched it at exactly 6PM, taking a taxi and going home. There, he would have ignored the mess, the clothes on the floor or on the chairs, the left-overs on the table or on the sofa. He would have taken a quick shower, eaten some reheated food and then gone to sleep. That was his routine.

The few people who knew him from years could tell instead that he hadn't always been like that. He had always been an introvert and shy person, but there was a time when he loved to live and laugh, when he had a life outside work and house and when he really cared about his future.

Until one year before, Hyunwoo was one of the most promising swimmers of the country. He had been chosen to be part of the National team and he used to train day and night. He had a big goal, the Olympics, and he wanted to be selected for the official team. He had gone through injuries, difficult moments and every kind of problem every athlete can face in his career. No matter what, he had always found a way to get up on his feet and swim again, because swimming was the only thing he could do well and the only thing he was interested in. He didn't have many friends, he never did, but he had a few loyal companions who had always supported him in every competition. His parents, his younger brother, some peers from high school who used to make him feel like every other teenager, laughing at his messy side and at how he was always embarrassed with girls.

Hyunwoo was a normal guy under every aspect. He had a dream, a goal, a family. He had negative sides, but he also had many positive ones.

Any of his friends and not even his parents were able to understand what had happened, what had brought him into this new life made of indifference and apathy.

Everything was normal. Hyunwoo was picked as one of the official members of the National Team, he had gone to the Olympics and he placed between the first three swimmers on a world level. Everything was perfect. As it was supposed to be. Then, at the last lap of the last competition, when he had just a few meters between himself and his gold medal, he just stopped. He never explained why and no one could really understand his behavior.

As simply as that, as a page which is flipped by the wind, showing the beginning of a new chapter. In that way, Hyunwoo had stopped living.

He was actually alive, at least physically. He stopped to swim and he found a normal job in a normal company. He lived a normal and boring life, mechanical and unnatural to the point that his own family had started to worry about him. He was breathing and moving, he was leaving his house everyday, he seemed normal. Still, his eyes had lost all their energy and their life. He never did anything too much or too less, everything was only necessary, as if he didn't need anything else to survive.

At the beginning, his family and friends had feared some kind of illness. But the truth was that Hyunwoo had stopped to care. About everything.

After that decisive day in that enormous and shining pool, Hyunwoo had ultimately understood that nothing was really worth it. Nothing of what he had done in his life had really a meaning. Why did he even spend years swimming? For what? For whom? For himself? Maybe, but he knew that he had stopped way long before without the support of his family and his friends. He started to wonder if he had wasted his life to please the others, but he also knew how that wasn't true. As much as they had helped him, they could have never convinced him if he didn't like the clear and fresh water so much. Only himself knew how much he enjoyed swimming, the feeling of floating and to be the most powerful man on earth, the emotion of a competition, the adrenaline of a win. But then, why suddenly everything had lost its meaning?

In the beginning, Hyunwoo had tried to find and answer. He knew why he never stopped swimming. That sudden doubt seemed so strange and scary and he didn't know how to live with the awareness of the lack of meaning behind everything.

Then, with his breath short and fast, the eyes burning because of the water and the chlorine, he had decided that he didn't care. He didn't care of winning, he didn't care of losing. He didn't care about the others, he didn't care about making them happy and he didn't care about making himself happy. He didn't care about the reasons why he loved to swim so much, he didn't care about all those emotions he used to feel while being under the water or holding a medal.

Nothing was important anymore. He just didn't care.

After all, what's the real meaning of this life? Hyunwoo had asked himself that question countless times, staring at the white ceiling of his room. Did it matter to win or to lose? Did it matter to have the approval of the society? Was it really worth fighting for all those things which seemed so little compared to the enormity of the universe? What was the meaning of fighting for a life, when that life was destined to end anyway, sooner or later?

With those thoughts, Hyunwoo had definitely stopped to think. He had stopped to ask himself questions about the meaning of life, about the values or the morals. He had stopped to live based on standards decided by someone else. He just went through everyday without thinking about what was going to happen the day after, because he didn't care. Nothing mattered, not a big change, nor a little one.

At the end, Hyunwoo wasn't really living, he was just surviving.

He was a healthy man, with a nice job, a salary, a house. He had a normal life, as it could be defined. But he didn't care about any of those things. He worked to earn money, he earned money to eat and survive, because he knew that killing himself willingly would have been as much useless, since he was destined to die anyway.

He passed each day like that, in an endless circle, waiting for something that could have finally stopped it.

\---

_Hyungwon was wondering what he could really do. He didn't expect to see what he had seen, but somehow he knew that he had to help._

_He still hadn't understood what his mission was, what he was supposed to do in that place. He hadn't understood what went wrong, why he hadn't been able to turn back the time as he planned to do when he had used the watch. He had suddenly appeared in a limbo, a strange place, of which he was just starting to understand the rules. But that was the first time he had actually met someone. He had understood that he wasn't watching the life of the friend he used to know, the one he had spent so many great moments with. It was another Hyunwoo, from another universe, with another life and another story to tell._

_Hyungwon wanted to help, though. He didn't know what had happened to his friends, but he couldn't leave that place knowing that another Hyunwoo was suffering. How, he wasn't really sure about that._

_He was watching the life of this Hyunwoo through what seemed a huge television screen on the wall. The man he used to know was different. He was an introvert, but he was also cheerful and a good-natured person. Hyungwon thought how much his friend loved to hug him with his huge arms, or faking to shove him away as if he was just a twig. This Hyunwoo had the same brown eyes, but they weren't as warm and kind as he used to remember them. They were lifeless and spent, buried under apathy and sloth. This Hyunwoo wasn't just lazy, he completely missed the will to live._

_In that moment Hyungwon decided that if his destiny was to help his friends, maybe not the old ones, but different ones, he would have done it without any regret. As he didn't have any regret when he had activated that watch for the first time._

\---

It was a normal day for Hyunwoo.

He was woken up by the sun, once again forgetting to close the curtains the night before. He had spent more than forty minutes in bed, staring at the ceiling without really thinking about anything. He knew by heart all the cracks in the wall and he was quick to find that huge spot created by humidity which was growing day after day.

He got up when his alarm rang. He drank his dark coffee, took a shower, shaved face and he got ready for work. He then called a taxi and waited for it. He was silent for the whole trip, he paid the taxi driver with a kind smile and he went to work. From 9AM to 6PM he stared as always at the screen of his computer, working on his tasks without useless breaks and without talking with anyone. At 6 o'clock, he closed everything, he called again a taxi and again he waited for it in front of the company. He went home, ignoring the clothes and all the food which wasn't supposed to be around the house. He showered and just laid on bed without even eating, staring once again at the ceiling in silence.

He barely noticed the little spider which had started to weave its web, constant and quick. He just laid there, without a real thought in his mind. For a couple of seconds he had thought about his work, then about the fact that his mother hadn't called him in weeks, then about the couple upstairs which was arguing again.

He noticed that he had forgotten to close the curtains, once again. He just ignored it, sighing lightly and rolling on a side, closing his eyes. He wasn't tired, but there was nothing else he could do. And he lately had started to prefer living in his dreams.

Not that they really mattered, but maybe that was the reason he liked them so much. They didn't have a logic, they were free, without a beginning and without an end. They just existed for a moment, and they just ceased to exist a moment after. They were fleeting, as evanescent as his own life.

\---

_Hyungwon was staring at the watch._

_What was its real power? What were the real consequences of its use?_

_Hyungwon didn't know. He knew that something had gone wrong the first time, but he had repaired the watch, somehow, so it could work again. In theory._

_Hyungwon didn't know what could have happened if he decided to use his watch there. He just knew that it was the answer._

_Hyungwon went back to watch this version of his old friend. He wasn't the same person, but Hyungwon wanted to help him. He wanted to find a meaning behind what was happening._

_When he was sure that Hyunwoo was deep asleep, he slowly turned the small wheel on the side. That way, he discovered he could show the man pieces of his memories, moments he had spent with his friend, moments which lived in his mind but maybe even deeper, buried between the creases of the universe. And that watch seemed to have the strange power to find each of them._

\---

The place where he woke up looked familiar.

The sun was setting behind the mountains and the streets were becoming darker and emptier. A pale light shone through the curtains which covered each window and he could count on one hand the people who were still walking on the streets. More like running, as if they were late for some kind of appointment.

None of them, though, seemed to notice him. A couple of men had passed beside him, but they had walked past as if he wasn't even there. It was as if he was invisible.

Then, out of the blue, he recognized a face.

Hyunwoo frowned, moving towards that figure. What was _he_ doing there? That alter ego, or whatever it was supposed to be, was walking fast, looking around carefully and he turned in a dark alley, a baseball cap deep on his eyes to hide his face.

Hyunwoo didn't think twice and he just decided to follow him. He was both confused and curious and he ran until he could see again the back of that man, who was walking through the narrow streets as if he knew them really well. Hyunwoo was surprised by his own familiarity with those places, even if he was sure he had never been there in his whole life.

After ten long minutes, the man started to walk towards a path which was clearly bringing them outside the city. It was dark, darker than before, and Hyunwoo could barely keep track of where he was going. Still, he kept following his lookalike, watching as he reached a little greenhouse placed at the border with the forest. The man looked around one last time and only when he was sure no one had followed him, he opened the door.

Hyunwoo was now sure people in that dream couldn't see him and he followed the man inside. He was suddenly in the middle of a little room, which didn't look like a greenhouse at all if not for the plants moved in the corners. He saw his alter ego entering another door, from which he could see a feeble light, and he hurried behind him.

In that room, there were six other people and his lookalike sat with them on a little stool. The only light in the room was an old lamp oil which shined in the middle of that circle of people.

“I heard about what happened”, one of the other men was saying.

His alter ego nodded, with a frown that looked way too familiar. “We didn't have other choices”, he said with an apologetic tone. “If we want to stay in the team, we must show our support to the government. In public”.

Hyunwoo frowned once again at those words. In what kind of second rate movie was he?

“We already talked about this”, another man said. “It's the best decision, both for you and for the X CLAN. We need you to keep acting for us”.

“We know that it's difficult”, the first who talked said again.

His lookalike nodded, sighing. “I know. But it's always more difficult”.

“We know, _Hyunwoo-Hyung_ ”, a man with a pair of crutches on his lap tried to reassure him.

Hyunwoo, the real one, was startled. He was expecting it, but it was strange seeing someone who looks exactly like him being called with his same name.

His lookalike held his fists on his thighs, clearly not pleased with the situation. His stare was sure and proud. “I'm not going to give up, especially if this is the only thing I can do. Our goal is still the same, after all”.

A buffed white-haired man gave him a pat on his shoulder. “That's the man we know!”.

A goal.

That Hyunwoo, the version in his dream, had a goal. The real Hyunwoo went back with his memories to the time he also had a goal, something to fight for and he realized he had forgotten what it feels like to live for something. But, after all, was it really worth all the bother and the pain?

“However this mission will end”, his alter ego was saying. “It will be worth it. At least, we didn't give up without fighting”.

Those words hit Hyunwoo as strong as a thunder.

Was there really something worth fighting for, in this life? What's the meaning, he had asked himself? For himself? For his family? For society? For what, exactly? Everyone has the same destiny, whether they struggle in life or not, whether they fight or just accept what happens. Of course the human being has free will, he can choose, but in the end there aren't many opportunities to be really happy. What's the point in suffering while looking for happiness or money or whatever, if you are destined to disappear and be forgotten?

Those were the core of Hyunwoo’s thoughts, what he had started to think in the past months and what had made him decide to give everything up. Those thoughts had changed his whole life, but in that moment, in that little and warm greenhouse, everything had started to crumble, as if he was looking at a card castle being moved by a little earthquake.

“For our families”.

“For ourselves. For our future”.

“Because it's the only way we can show we're alive. Because until we're alive, we won't give up”.

Those voices started to swirl in his mind, becoming far and muffled. In the meanwhile, Hyunwoo was getting trapped in that hurricane of voices and colors, of emotions which he thought he had forgotten.

Hyunwoo was sure of his ideas. He really was.

But...

But for the first time after months, something had cracked inside of him. As if he was waking up from an endless slumber, he was starting to consider points of views he had decided to ignore.

Of course human beings can choose, that is what makes them special. They live to treasure those little happy moments, for which they had fought through hardships and pain. Those little drops of happiness are what make every life worth of living. Because when you try that incredible emotion, you won't be able to forget it for the rest of your life.

\---

_Hyungwon couldn't do much more._

_He had shown his friend that precious memory, with the hope of showing him another way to live. Not the right way, but maybe a better way, a way in which it's worth living and being happy._

_He didn't know if that dream had really been helpful and he couldn’t stay there to make sure of it. He had to leave, but he was happy. Hyunwoo could start a new life, he just had to be brave enough , but it had to be a voluntary choice. Hyungwon couldn't force him, nobody could._

_Only Hyunwoo could decide whether it was worth it._

  
  
  



	3. HOSEOK - WRATH

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoseok's life is filled with wrath and anger, emotions he doesn't know how to control anymore.  
> Hyungwon shows him another way to use those emotions to finally come to appreciate his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Bebes! 
> 
> How are ya'll? I'm back with the third chapter of my story, this time with our Wonho as the main character, and wrath is the sin.   
> Once again, I want to mention that the sins don't represent the person they want to describe. It wasn't easy to create characters who could represent only one singular sin at its most extreme manifestation. Wonho was one of the most difficult ones, partly because he himself is everything but rage and wrath, and also because I wanted to make it clear how his own behavior was unnecessary, but he couldn't really notice it because he was too focused on his own pain. 
> 
> TW: description of violent behavior (nothing graphic)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this!

_HOSEOK – WRATH_

The sound of the glass shattering on the floor created an unnatural silence in the room.

Everyone knew what was going to happen.

A second glass followed the first on the floor, then a third and many others after. “Are you happy now?,” a low voice growled from behind the kitchen's door. There was no answer and therefore another glass was smashed against the wall. “Will you ever learn to pay attention?” Other glasses, more fear.

The two young waiters looked at each other. They were standing behind the counter, their hands in their laps as if they were waiting to be punished as well. It wasn't the first time they had seen such a situation happen, but if the few customers were free to leave, they had to stay there and tremble in fear. Sadly, that happened more often than they would like to admit.

The kitchen's door suddenly opened and a man hurried outside. He was huge, with broad shoulders and strong arms, but he was quite young. That was Hoseok, the only son of the owner of the bar. He was in charge of managing funds for the bar, which made him the person with most decision power. That was the reason no one had never been brave enough to argue with him, scared by his sudden and impulsive behavior.

“You!” he yelled, glaring at the two waiters. His eyes were bloodshot and his face was literally transformed by that wrath which was completely out of control. He held his fist, his veins bulging on his arms and they held their breath. “Why do we even pay you? Are you here to break all our glasses?”

“It was...”

“I didn't ask for your opinion!” he interrupted the girl. “The cost of those glasses will be deducted from your salary,” he concluded, storming outside the bar as a hurricane.

The two young waiters waited a seconds before moving and breathing again. They sighed and they finally entered the kitchen. Saying that it was a disaster was probably an understatement. The floor was completely covered by glass fragments of different dimensions and there was a huge red spot on the wall, probably left by some left-over wine. The owner, Hoseok's mother, was in the farthest corner of the kitchen, the eyes fixed on the floor and still wet from the tears.

The young waiters immediately apologized and they started to wipe the floor.

“Leave it alone, I'll clean this mess,” the woman said instead.

“But it's our fault-”

“Don't worry”, she tried to smile. “It happens, especially when you're learning the job. You didn't do anything wrong, don't worry,”she repeated. “Now go to see if there are customers.”

Then she took the broom from the girl's hands and she started to sweep the floor, looking with sad eyes at those countless shreds, which looked so much like the soul of his poor son that was slowly breaking apart, making him a completely different person.

\---

Hoseok had closed his car's door with so much strength that he feared to have broken it. His breath was fast and he was trembling.

There was always a problem. Hoseok was starting to think they were doing it on purpose. He couldn't even express how much he hated that place, but he was forced to spend his whole life there. He didn't have any more choices since he was the only person in his family who could manage the bar and that was the thing he loathed the most.

Hoseok sighed, rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hands. His head was throbbing and he felt like he could throw up at any moment. He had done it again. He closed his eyes, stopping a tear from falling and he hit the passenger's seat with his arm. Once again, he had taken out his anger on the wrong person.

After a couple of minutes, Hoseok was calmer and he decided he could leave. He started to drive, trying to remember the appointments for that morning. He realized he was actually running late for an important meeting and he swore under his breath, feeling the anger coming back.

He couldn't stop thinking.

That morning, as many others in the past months, he had woken up extremely nervous. He had spent the past months working his ass off to pay back the debt of his family, giving up his whole life for them when they didn't even care about everything he had done to help. Like that time, for example, when they decided to buy new furniture for the bar without consulting him beforehand. He didn't care if the bar looked more modern and if they had gained new customers, he hated when people meddled in his work, trying to ruin on purpose everything he had worked so hard for.

The thing Hoseok hated more than anything was wastefulness. That was the reason he couldn't control himself when he had seen the waiter collecting the fragments of a broken glass, that morning. Was it really that difficult to pay attention, after all? And why wasn’t his mother able to reprimand her employees if they did something wrong? Why was he always forced to act as the mean one? Why was he always the one to get angry at those situations? It wasn't like he was exaggerated, he knew he was right and he hated that people had to see him as the “bad one” when he was only trying to make things work.

Out of the blue, the car in front of him slowed down and stopped. Hoseok hit the break with strength, holding the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white. He honked loudly, sticking the head out of the window. “What the hell are you doing, idiot?”. He was blinded by rage. He was already late for his appointment and he didn't need to lose even more time with some idiots who couldn't even drive properly.

The door of the car in front of him opened. The driver was a tall middle-aged man, with little to no hair and a ridiculous pair of mustaches. He chucked, evidently embarrassed, bowing to apologize. “Please forgive me, sir.” He nodded back at the two children who were crossing the street, the reason for his sudden stop.

Hoseok got out of his car, literally fuming. He checked if there were some damages, but the cars didn't even touch, so nothing had really happened. Still, the behavior of the man in front of him made him unbelievably angry.

“Who even taught you to drive?” he yelled at his face, not bothered at all by the difference in their height. Hoseok wasn't as tall, but he had spent the last ten years training in a gym to create a muscular and sturdy body. He had never used his strength to fight or to hurt someone, but his frame was threatening enough to scare idiots like the one he was facing at that moment. The man mumbled another apology, surprised by the excessive reaction. He was aware that he shouldn't have stopped so fast, but unexpected situations could always happen and they were lucky that no one got hurt and that there were no real damages.

“Apologize,” Hoseok almost growled, completely blinded by his rage. He was feeling like the main victim of the accident and he didn't realize how extreme and unnecessary his behavior was.

“I'm sorry,” the man said for the third time. He was sure that he was going overboard, but he didn't want to start a useless fight in the middle of the street. He tried another smile, trying to please that strange man. “Nobody got hurt, luckily-”

“You made me lose time!” Hoseok exclaimed, pointing a finger to the chest of the man. He then looked at his watch and he realized that he would have never arrived in time to the meeting.

“I'm sorry, again. It was an unexpected situation and...”.

“And you should have paid more attention. Learn how to drive, damn.”

The man frowned, folding his arm on his chest. “Listen, Sir. I already apologized. But if we want to be fair, you weren't respecting the safety distance as well, since you almost hit my car.”

Hoseok narrowed his eyes. He was the victim, how did that man dare to accuse him? “My distance was perfect,” he replied. “You stopped out of the blue.”

“And I apologized, more than once.”

“You weren't sincere. You didn't care about who could be behind you at all.”

The man snorted. “Do you even listen to the nonsense you're saying? We're arguing over a stupid accident. Nothing has happened, so what's your problem?”

“A stupid accident?” Hoseok repeated, clenching his fists. “No accident is stupid. Every accident can be mortal.”

“But it wasn't,” the man exclaimed, exasperated. “I'm not going to lose any more time here. Goodbye.” he said, turning on his heels.

Moving on his instinct, Hoseok grabbed him by his arm, shoving him forward with enough force to make him bump into his car. “I didn't finish talking.”

The man jerked away, freeing himself and glaring down at Hoseok. The two were ready to throw fists, but luckily some men interrupted them, avoiding a big mess. After ten minutes, both of them were climbing back in their cars, having agreed not to press charges.

That was the beginning of one of the worst days ever for Hoseok. He had lost an extremely important meeting with a client, which could have helped him. He had argued again again with his mother, yelling in front of her overly positive attitude. He hated when she tried to make him believe that things weren't as bad as he thought they were. She always made him look like the wrong one, as if he was exaggerating. As if he wasn't doing his best to avoid problems who could have never existed in the first place.

Hoseok returned home late that night. He had stopped for a couple of hours at his gym, trying to get tired enough to delete that constant feeling of wrath he couldn't seem to avoid. It didn't really help, but at least he was really tired enough to have stopped to think.

Hoseok didn't want to admit it, but he missed training. He missed spending his days in the training center, half invested in his taekwondo lessons and the gym equipment. He really missed that life, but he would have never admitted it because he only got angrier every time he thought how he had to give up everything.

This is why he refused to think about the past. That past in which he had managed to learn how to keep his temperament under control, thanks to his taekwondo teacher, who had also become one of his closest friends. A past which seemed so far away and so blurred in his memories, especially in days when he could only feel anger and even more anger towards the whole world. He was asked more than once, especially by his mother, why he had never gone back after he had paid back the family debt. Hoseok didn't want to answer that question because he knew he wouldn't like the truth.

He was scared, that was the truth. He was scared to come back and to face his failure. He was scared to admit that he had forgotten everything, that his old trainer and friend would have blamed and hated him for being weak. He was scared that the children he had started to train himself couldn't see him as an inspiration anymore. He was scared of himself, and that awareness made him even angrier.

The worst was the fact that Hoseok was aware of how his behavior was becoming unreasonable and even more rough than ever, but he couldn't help to snap at the others, especially when they did something that he didn't approve of. He could get angry if an object was in the wrong place, if someone contradicted him, if someone, as the waiter that morning, made a stupid mistake. Everything was an occasion to get angry. He lived between that wrath and the guilt, especially towards his mother, but in the end towards everyone who happened to meet his path in the wrong moment. Like the poor clerk in the small supermarket near his home, who had to listen to how disappointed he was about the fact that they didn't have his favorite ramen.

Rationally, Hoseok knew he was being irrational, but emotionally speaking, he couldn't avoid that anger. Actually, he didn't know how to stop it. He was also getting worried by the fact that his rage lately seemed to become more physical, like that morning. That change was scary, because he could barely coexist with his own constant feeling of wrath, how could he survive to the violent side of himself?

No matter how hard he tried to justify his behavior, Hoseok was starting to realize how everything he used to believe was true was becoming less clear. At the beginning he was seriously angry with his family and he blamed them for ruining his life, especially that uncle who used his father's money to invest in the wrong way.

Hoseok had to give up his life, his dreams. He was just starting to teach young children and he could finally start a normal life in the training center of that teacher who had helped him when he was a rebellious and whining child. Hoseok was deeply grateful to that man. He helped him to face his temperament, to find a solution to his anger and he taught him to use his negative emotions for positive outcomes. In that training center, Hoseok had become a better man, someone he could be proud of. He had learned how to live in society, how to be friendly and most importantly he had learned that violence can only bring to other violence. In that place, Hoseok had been happy, maybe as he had never been.

Losing that safe place made him believe to have lost also the only chain who could keep his anger bottled up. Hoseok didn't really hate his family and he had decided on his own to leave his job to help them. But he would have never forgiven that mistake, he would have never forgiven them for making him lose his happiness.

And there were some moments, like that day, when everything seemed even worse. After a couple of months, Hoseok had been able to pay back the debt and he had helped his mother to open a bar as a family activity. Everything was going back as before, but not for Hoseok. He was probably the only one who thought that anything wasn't going as it was supposed to be. He lived under the obsession that something negative would have happened, sooner or later. It was almost as the world was waiting for him to fail, to give up to his anger, to forget everything he had learned. He couldn't understand how he could just go back to his normal life.

No matter what, Hoseok still couldn't accept the fact that he was the problem, not the others. He knew he was always fast to get angry, but he was also sure that the people around him were making him angry on purpose. Sometimes, thinking back, he could barely remember the reason that made him angry, or whom he was angry with. It was as if he was living with two clashing personalities that he couldn't seem to control at all.

When he got home that night, Hoseok was tired, not only physically but mostly mentally. He decided to just take a shower and go to bed without eating. He couldn't care less about the mess his house was, nor the fact that he hadn't eaten at all that day. His head was throbbing and he only wanted to sleep and forget that day. He was angry and nervous, with his mother, the bar employees, with everyone he had met that day, but mostly with himself.

He laid on his bed, staring at the ceiling with his arms under his head. He was so tired. He was tired of that life, he was tired of his own anger, he was tired of how everything seemed to go in the wrong direction, day after day. He was tired of all those emotions, emotions that scared him, emotions that he couldn't understand how to manage. Emotions that he hated and feared, emotions that made him a person he loathed. Emotions that were part of his life, no matter what.

Hoseok was scared of himself. How could he keep living that way? But, at the same time, what could he do, at that point, if not just being angry with the whole world?

\---

_Hyungwon was devastated. Feeling the pain and the rage of his friend was something he didn't know how to face._

_In their past, Hoseok was the first person Hyungwon had ever considered his friend even before joining the X CLAN. He had been the first to treat him as a human being, and Hyungwon had never forgotten it. Hoseok was also the first person ever Hyungwon had told about his father's violent behavior, of his solitary life and about the death of his mother. He had always been a precious friend and he wasn't able to keep his tears while watching how that version of Hoseok had ruined his own life._

_That wasn't the Hoseok he loved, the Hoseok full of love and sweetness, the Hoseok who loved him as a real brother._

_Hyungwon was starting to understand how a single different choice can change a whole life and even a whole person. He wondered for a second if even his Hoseok could have been destroyed by his own emotions if he didn't have his family and his friend. That thought made him shiver in fear._

_The only thing he could do for this Hoseok, was to show him a different path. He could see through his memories how he could learn again to fight himself._

_But only that Hoseok could make that choice._

\---

The place where he woke up looked familiar.

He was standing in an old taekwondo center, with colorful walls, the exercise mats on the floor, some tools shattered around and some trophies on the shelves. There was a stale smell, something like plastic and sweat. Somehow, it was a smell which reminded him of home. But Hoseok was sure he had never been in that place, since the gym itself wasn't anywhere near to the one he used to train in.

Hoseok was startled by some voices. He looked around, ready to apologize for being in a place he wasn't supposed to be. But the two children didn't even acknowledge his presence, they kept talking while walking towards the changing rooms. Hoseok was surprised, but decided to follow them, fascinated at how he seemed to be invisible.

One after the others, a dozen of children had entered the changing room and after them a man followed. He must have been their coach. Hoseok stared at him with wide eyes when he closed the door behind his back: what was _he_ doing there?

His alter ego, or whatever it was, was smiling at his students, with a warmth in his eyes that bothered Hoseok deep in his heart. The children were sitting on the benches, silently.

“Did something happen, Hyung?” one of them asked.

The man shook his head, without stopping to smile. There was something else in his eyes now, though. Anger, fear, sadness. “You're going to have a new coach from tomorrow,” he announced after clearing his voice.

The children started to protest, jumping on their feet and screaming. His lookalike needed some moments to calm them. “I need to move to another city,” he explained, but even Hoseok could tell it wasn't the complete truth. “I'm going to teach other children, and you're getting an even better coach.”

“It's not fair!” one of the children yelled. “You're our coach.”

“You had promised to teach us all your secret techniques..”

The man smiled again, stroking a child's head tenderly. It was clear that he didn't know how to comfort them and he was fighting his own tears.

“Hurry up and change. I'm waiting for you outside.” He fled the changing room, followed by Hoseok.

The man walked a couple of steps but then stopped, leaning on the wall and sighing. He looked extremely sad and angry, as if he had been defeated and couldn't do anymore else to fight.

“I did the right thing”, he heard the man whispering to himself. That man reminded Hoseok himself when he was forced to give up his life for his family. Back then, he also believed he had done the right thing.

Hoseok watched the whole training from a corner, realizing that the alter ego was terribly similar to a version of himself he had thought to have forgotten. He remembered when he used to spend his days in the same way, teaching to his students and loving how they always looked at him as if he was the best man on earth.

When the training ended, Hoseok kept following the man. He was curious about the kind of life such a man was living. His lookalike started to walk fast through the streets, his hands deep in his pocket and a hat low on his head, as if he feared someone could recognize him.

He stopped suddenly and Hoseok recognized some meters ahead of them two of the students he had seen at the taekwondo center. They were talking with two men who were holding huge guns, and they were visibly scared. The soldiers were asking them where they lived and the children didn't know how to answer.

He was surprised to see his alter ego walking fast towards them, standing between those soldiers and the children.

“They don't live here”, he interrupted them.

The soldier watched his stupidly brave lookalike with an amused look. “Who are you, Sir?”.

“He's our coach”, one of the children said lightly.

The man held his fist and Hoseok knew from the position of his body that he was ready to fight if it was needed. Hoseok asked himself why that man was so compliant with those men. Sure, they had guns, but he was surely stronger and he could save those children if they really were in danger.

The two soldiers asked his alter ego something he couldn't understand and he showed them what looked like an identification document. They read through it and then gave it back to the man, nodding and going back to what they were doing before.

After the two men had turned the corner, Hoseok saw his alter ego kneeling in front of the boys and whispering to them something. He patted their heads, giving them the most convincing smile he could find and watched as they started to run in the opposite direction.

The man was still trembling, his fists tight and the veins on his arms visible and bulging.

“You've been very brave”.

Both Hoseok and his lookalike jumped at a sudden voice and looked confused as a man walked in the broad street, the hoodie deep on his head to hide his face.

“Who are you?”, his alter ego asked after observing him for a couple of seconds.

“May I ask a question before?”, the strange man asked instead. “Why did you do that?”.

“I know those children”, that was the easy answer.

“Aren't you afraid of the consequences?”.

“Of course I am. We all are scared. But they are just children”, he said as if that was the most logical explanation.

“I see”, the man with the hoodie nodded lightly. “May I ask instead why you didn't stop them? You look strong enough”.

“Why should I have stopped them?”, his lookalike said. “I would have died in less than a day. What would I have gained? I don't want to use my strength like this. I want to be useful”.

Those words hit Hoseok directly in his gut. Using his strength to be useful... Why did it sound such a familiar idea?

“Aren't you angry? I get angry every time I see those men with our children”.

His alter ego nodded, showing his fist still closed. “I am. I am still trembling because I'm so angry. But this rage won't bring any solution. It will bring only more rage and violence”.

The man smiled, shoving his hoodie back and finally showing his face. “Nice to meet you”, he said, a couple of cute dimples on his cheeks. “I'm Jooheon”.

While he was watching those many shaking their hands, Hoseok's vision started to swirl in a hurricane of colors and sounds.

_Be useful._

How can a single man do something useful against countless soldiers with weapons? At the same time, how could staying still be more useful than acting? How could that man control all his anger?

In the past months Hoseok had never thought about being useful. He had helped his family because he had to, almost compelled by the situation. The only way he had survived his loss were those strong emotions, anger, resentment, pain, which were big enough to fill his heart. He had thought his wrath could be the solution, the only way to do something. He had never considered it as a problem.

Maybe what he had forgotten, that important lesson he was so scared to remember, was hiding behind those words. In the past he needed a mentor to find a way to use his own emotions in a useful way, but maybe in the present he had grown enough to make it on his own.

Living without wrath, without that rage which was consuming him from the inside. Living without the fear of becoming someone he was afraid of.

Maybe Hoseok had a chance to become again that he was missing so much.

\---

_For the second time, Hyungwon had done everything in his power._

_It has been interesting to watch Hoseok and Jooheon first encounter, even if he hadn't been present himself. Maybe the watch had the power to show all the events connected to Hyungwon's past life, not only the ones stored in his memories._

_He was starting to understand why Jooheon had chosen each of them for the X CLAN. They all had something special, negative sides and positive ones. Their strength was that, together, they were perfect. Not for nothing they considered themselves a family._

_This Hoseok could decide by himself whether it was worth becoming useful in his life, or to keep being destroyed by his emotions. Hyungwon couldn't do much more, but he hoped that memory had helped his friend._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always accepted. Feel free to tell me whatever you think about this story. Are you liking it? Is there something you don't understand or that you think I should address differently?


	4. MINHYUK - LUST

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Minhyuk lives only to please himself, always forwarded towards something bigger, which could make him feel really alive.  
> Will Hyungwon manage to show him the power of true friendship and pure love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Bebes ^^
> 
> Here I'm back with Minhyuk's chapter. This time the sin is Lust. This was one of the easiest chapters to write (and also the longest, sorry lmao), and one of my favorite.  
> As the other times, the sin doesn't represent the member himself in the reality, it's just fiction. 
> 
> Bonus points to whoever can recognize the car I named in this chapter!
> 
> TW: quick and with no graphic description of a sex scene (you can skip it when you arrive at the part of the car drive, it's not totally necessary to the plot itself); mention of violence, mention of fire (basically, half of All In MV lmao)
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think about this.

_MINHYUK – LUST_

Minhyuk was staring at the ceiling of the hotel room he had slept in that night. The plaster was perfect and the borders were finely decorated with elegant doodles colored blue. Blue was the primary color repeated in the whole room; the curtains were of a blue dark enough to prevent the morning sun to brighten the room; the bed sheets and the pillowcase were of the same colors and so was the sofa.

Minhyuk liked to get lost in those details. They helped him to pretend he was busy and that he wasn't just there, listening to the clock and wasting his time. They reminded him his drawings, the ones he used to do when he was younger. They used to be full of colors and so lively that his teacher always praised him. His current drawings, instead, were becoming dull and boring, less colorful, superfluous as the wallpaper in that hotel room.

Something beside him moved and Minhyuk stretched out a hand to slowly stroke that body. The girl mumbled in her dream, turning again under the blanket. Beside her, there was another girl and Minhyuk observed them both for a couple of moments, thinking about their names. Not that he cared, he would have never met them again, but it was still strange to wake up beside nameless people.

Minhyuk took his phone he had thrown on the ground the night before and he checked the time. He stretched and little and he started to get dressed, without even watching back the bed he had just left. The two girls were still asleep and he didn't want to wake them up.

After a quick trip to the bathroom, he wore his leather jacket and grabbed his wallet and the car keys. Then he left the room. He didn't leave any money. He never did. Those girls weren't prostitutes and they didn't sleep with him to be paid. That has been a simple night of fun.

Or that was what he was telling himself.

Minhyuk walked quickly through the corridors, entering the elevator and pushing the button for the basement, where he could access the parking lot. After all, he was the son of the owner of that Hotel, he didn't need to pay. Luckily it was early and he didn't meet anyone that could recognize him. He left the elevator and reached his new car, a _Jaguar I-PACE_ , of a metallic white which was shining between those old and cheap cars.

Minhyuk left the Hotel, starting to drive towards his home.

That night had been another delusion. It wasn't the first time he spent the night with two women, but once again he couldn't feel that same satisfaction that sex had always created in the past. He had chosen the two most beautiful girls in the club, they showered him with attention and flattery, but he didn't enjoy himself. It was as if he had spent the night alone.

He needed something more.

To be fair, Minhyuk wasn't a prostitute or a gigolo, he never asked or paid money for sex. It was just his way to enjoy himself and to avoid thinking about his problems. From his teenage years, Minhyuk had experimented with a variety of aspects related to sex, using those opportunities to feel emotions always stronger. In the last years, he had been so busy trying to find something that could bring back those emotions and he had started to look for experiences that were always more strong and destructive, with both men and women, and more often than sometimes both of them. He had tried alcohol and drugs but he didn't like that rubbish: he'd rather be awake and alert to fully enjoy the emotions he was trying so hard to feel. And he hated to wake up with a huge headache and with no memories of what had happened the night before. After all, he needed to remember everything to understand if he could be satisfied.

His first sexual experience was with a woman. She was a couple of years older and she used to live near his parent's home. She had started him to the world of sex, teaching him everything he needed to know to fully enjoy intercourse, to please himself and his partner, and to really be overwhelmed by the strength of physical pleasure.

For Minhyuk that woman had been his safe harbor, the first person that had shown some true interest from him. She had been his friend and his lover and he had fallen in love with her, with all the sincerity of a first love experience that had faded during the years. They were still friends and they still met sometimes to remember the old gold times together. After some time, Minhyuk had realized that he had never loved her, not in the romantic sense of the word. She had been an extremely important person in his life and he would have always remembered her as his only true best friend. Both of them had grown and had taken different paths in life. Minhyuk himself had never been able to let go of those emotions which had made him feel alive. For this reason, he had started to look for something more, something different, something that could bring back that incredible experience. It was never-ending and draining research. Minhyuk was aware that everything had a limit, but he was ready to go over them. He was ready to fight himself and the others to find again something that could make him feel alive.

For Minhyuk, their meeting had been the beginning of a new life.

In the meanwhile Minhyuk had arrived home, barely realizing it only when he stopped in front of the gate out of habit. He closed his car and entered the house. It was his parents' house, to be honest, and despite having his own apartment, Minhyuk was so used to that environment that he kept living there. The house was silent, the only person around was the housekeeper, the same old woman who had seen him growing up during the past twenty-seven years.

It was just 9 AM and he had time to take a shower. Minhyuk had promised his father to be with him during an important meeting that day and Minhyuk didn't want to be late. Not that he really cared, but he didn't have siblings and he was destined to inherit his father's company and his whole huge assets. Minhyuk wasn't that stupid to refuse all of that and if all that was required from him was to assist a couple of meetings and pretend in front of the cameras, then he wouldn't have complained. The young Minhyuk didn't agree with this mindset, but his rebellious phase didn't last long. It took him only one year, while he attended an art course at University despite his father's disapproval, to understand that he was being childish and that following his dreams won't have helped him to be happy. He had seen many of his peers so busy between school and a job that they barely had time to sleep and Minhyuk had understood that it would have been foolish to refuse all his benefits. For this reason, he had accepted his father's will, he had left his art course and he had graduated in Economics. He had hidden his passions and his dreams in a closet, forgetting them for the time being, and he had accepted his fate.

Minhyuk didn't hate his father, nor they had a turbulent relationship. He had nothing to complain about, his father had never been violent with him. But at the same time, he had never shown him some love. Minhyuk had grown up without his mother, who had died when he was little, in a cold and perfect environment, with a parent who barely looked at him in the eyes if not to reprimand him or to show what he had done wrong. Minhyuk had never known what the warmth of a family really means and he had never experienced himself what love is. Until he had met her. She showed him that his need for love, for affection, could be replaced with the physical encounter of two people. Minhyuk understood really fast how he didn't need to find his true love and that sentimentalism couldn't bring him any happiness. The sexual act could, in fact, create a bond as deep and strong. The sensations that the meeting of two bodies can create are, for the human mind, as powerful as any abstract feeling. This was what Minhyuk had understood and what he based his whole life on, to the point it became almost an obsession. He wasn't ashamed of himself, though: he wasn't doing anything wrong or illegal, he was just pursuing his own personal pleasure and happiness, not through sentimental relationships, but with physical ones.

Minhyuk kept thinking about his past while showering, but as soon as he stepped into his room he started to read the documents his father had given him about the meeting. He dressed in his most elegant suit and he drove back to his father's company in the middle of the city. He knew that was going to be an extremely boring meeting and he was thinking about how he would have spent the night. He wasn't in the mood for roaming around the clubs to find someone to have fun with, but at the same time, he didn't want to be alone. He decided he could write to _her_. After all, he had spent the whole day digging up his past, what better occasion?

While his father was talking about the new investment, Minhyuk secretly talked with that woman. They planned for that evening, booking a restaurant and deciding to go to a club after that. Minhyuk was also thinking of using his personal apartment for the first time in a while. His father had bought it for him near his university, for him to be closer to the campus. After graduating he had barely used it, he had also proposed to his father to rent it to someone as an investment, but the old man had refused. The positive side was that Minhyuk could use it when he needed to be alone, or when he didn't want to bring his partner to a hotel. Like that night. She was way too important and she deserved more than a boring hotel.

After the meeting, Minhyuk stood beside his father, greeting all the shareholders. No matter how bored he was at those events, he had discovered pretty soon how such little pleasantries could bring him positive results. His father had taught him how to keep close to his friends, but even closer to his enemies. It wasn't difficult and in the long run, it could have brought him higher benefits. For this reason, he accepted a lunch invitation from one of his father's closest friends. They all went to a traditional Korean restaurant and they kept talking about the merging between the two families and companies.

Minhyuk didn't really participate in that discussion, though.

He couldn't understand why that day he was so obsessed with his past, nor why he was so gloomy. All he could think about all day was the failure that the night before had been, and mostly the reason behind his dissatisfaction with his whole life lately. It was clear even for him that his research for pleasure had become too extreme and difficult. Sex had become a drug and the need for physical contact had become an obsession: as someone with a drug addiction couldn't stop taking drugs, in the same way, he needed something that could make him feel alive. His body got used to those sensations to the point that reducing or even stopping wasn't a valid option anymore.

At some point during the lunch, his father had to attract his attention and Minhyuk realized he had completely become estranged from the whole conversation. He excused himself and he rushed to the toilet, washing his face and taking a couple of deep breathing. He was so nervous and not knowing the reason behind that irritability was making him even more grumpy. Furthermore, there was that constant need, in the back of his mind, to touch someone's body. He wasn't aroused, not yet, but he was so desperate that he could have jumped on anyone who had entered that toilet just to alleviate that burning sensation inside of him.

Minhyuk faked a malaise and he left the restaurant, hiding in his apartment to wait for that evening. He took another shower, using probably double the amount of water he should have, trying to placate that strange feeling which was growing. Under the hot water, he tried to give himself some peace, but not even an orgasm managed to satisfy him.

He needed someone to touch. He needed to touch to realize he was alive.

He got ready in a rush, waiting on the sofa while his mind kept wandering between the past and the present. He was incredibly tense, which didn't help time to pass faster. He tried to distract himself with some books, some stupid programs on TV and even with reading some documents about his father's company, but nothing worked. He also pondered the idea of calling one of his usual hookups, but he put aside that option. He didn't need any of them. He only needed her.

He left his apartment way too early, just sending her a message telling him that he would have waited under her house. He didn't have to wait long, actually, and he thanked God that she was a punctual person. He saw her leaving her apartment building and, while she was crossing the street, Minhyuk had to calm himself, gripping the steering wheel and taking deep breaths.

She was beautiful, as always. She was wearing a simple black sleeveless dress, the long legs covered by a pair of finely decorated thighs were looking even slimmer thanks to the high black decollete.

They hadn't met in a while, probably a couple of months but that was the first time he was feeling so overwhelmed by her own presence. Maybe only when he first met her, when he was young and naive.

Minhyuk tried to hide his agitation with his usual chatter, telling her about his new hobbies and avoiding talking about his huge problem with sex. His hands were trembling and he couldn't avoid looking at her body, which looked so warm and soft just a couple of centimeters away from his hands. He was feeling as nervous as a child on his first encounter and he felt ashamed of himself. Where was the confident Minhyuk who wasn't scared of anyone?

Minhyuk was completely overwhelmed, by her voice, her scent, her presence. His pants were becoming uncomfortably tight.

He didn't have to think anymore longer. Out of the blue, he turned right and he started to drive towards the suburbs of the city. The houses were quickly replaced by huge warehouses and fields.

“Where are we going?”.

“It's a shortcut”, Minhyuk replied with a low voice.

When he decided they were far enough from the city he stopped the car, leaning his head against the seat and sighing.

“What...”.

Minhyuk didn't let her talk.

He unfastened his belt, leaning to kiss her. He felt her replying to her kiss, even if surprised, and he smiled a little. It was crazy how those lips were familiar as if he had kissed them until the day before. Yet, he had missed them so much, and he was completely intoxicated.

He didn't want to lose time. Minhyuk unfastened her belt as well, moving them on the back seat and removing her dress with a swift and fast move. Watching her body with just an elegant underwear set made his blood flood south, while his mind was swirling and his breathing becoming faster. That was the first time he was going to have sex in a car, and the idea of taking another “first” with her after all those years made him lose his mind. His hands were being rough and fast, following that need to touch everything and to feel everything. In the rush, he broke her stockings, and he managed to apologize with just a little smile. He was ashamed of how his hands were trembling and how she had to help him take off his pants. Luckily he was still clear-headed enough to wear a condom before sliding inside her warm body.

It was fast but extremely intense intercourse.

When Minhyuk came into the condom he could barely hold himself in his arms, the breath fast and the forehead covered in sweat. It took him a couple of minutes to calm the beatings of his heart, then he wore his pants again, helping her to sit up and get dressed.

“Wow, what a welcome”, she laughed when they both managed to catch their breaths.

Minhyuk smiled, apologizing again. “Sorry for the stocking”.

She nodded, smiling as well. “It's okay. It's just... do we have the chance to refresh ourselves a little before our dinner?”.

In front of her little smirk, Minhyuk felt his blood rushing again in his veins. He started the car, driving back to the city. “Damn the dinner”, he murmured, taking the way to reach his apartment. He didn't care about his booking or the night he had planned: he just wanted to arrive home as soon as possible.

Despite the orgasm, Minhyuk was still excited. He didn't know the reason why she was having that effect on him, he was sure it wasn't love, not in the sentimental meaning of the word at least. Maybe he had just missed her so much. Maybe she was the only one who could provide him that adrenaline he was looking so much for.

As soon as they closed the door's apartment, they were already kissing. Minhyuk couldn't keep his hands away from her body. He knew he wasn't rational, he knew he was letting his emotions control him, but he hadn't felt so alive in so long. He couldn't stop.

During that night, they had sex so many times that Minhyuk was starting to wonder if he really wasn't under the influence of some kind of drugs. Under the shower, on the kitchen table, on the sofa, in front of the movie they had tried to watch, and finally on his huge bed. They didn't do anything extravagant, they just enjoyed each other's company. But for Minhyuk that was much more than all the sensations he had managed to recreate in the past months. Just touching her warm and soft body was enough, just being overwhelmed by her smell or the sound of her voice was enough. Just her presence was enough to make him feel alive. The more he had, the more he wanted to have after.

“Did you practice celibacy in the past months?”, she joked when she finally could speak. She had her head on his chest and he was playing with her hair.

Minhyuk tried to hide a smile. “Not really”.

“Then can you explain what happened to you today?”, she asked, leaning on her arm to watch him in the eyes.

Minhyuk just shrugged his shoulders. He couldn't explain it to himself, how could he give her an explanation?

She stared at him for a couple of seconds, with her blue and deep eyes, trying to read inside his soul. Then she sighed, leaning back against him. “You were telling me about your father's company. Tell me more”.

“Do you really want to talk about that now?”.

She laughed. “I just wanted to talk. And I often see you on the news. You're going to do a huge merging soon”.

“It's not me. My father is doing everything”.

“Yet, the company will be yours, one day”.

“One day”, he repeated. Then he pinched her lightly on the side. “Why? Do you want to share?”, he joked.

She laughed again. “Are you proposing to me? I thought you were engaged”.

Minhyuk couldn't hide a sneer at those words. “With someone I barely know”, he said. “And that I don't want to know”.

“I saw you on the news. She's cute. You are cute together”.

“It's all fake”.

“So you don't love her? Or have you found someone else?”.

“I don't need anyone to love”, Minhyuk replied coldly, pushing her aside and sitting against the headboard of the bed. “That woman will be my wife, but I don't need to love her. And I can find countless people who can entertain me. What else do I need?”.

She followed him, sitting on his side to watch him in his eyes. For the first time that night, Minhyuk was feeling uncomfortable under her gaze. “You know that sex isn't enough to be happy, don't you?”.

Minhyuk looked away, leaning to switch off the light in the room and lying under the blanket, facing the opposite side. “I don't need to be happy”, he whispered after a couple of seconds.

It was the truth. He didn't need happiness. He had never looked for it, not for the sweet version shown on TV. The satisfaction that a sexual encounter can give had always been enough for him, and he was convinced it could easily replace any kind of sentimentalism. That was enough for him to feel alive, what else did he need?

Minhyuk heard her sighing, then she laid beside him, hugging him from the back without saying anything else.

He didn't need anything else, did he?

\---

_Hyungwon sighed, wandering once again what had been the event that had changed that version of his best friend so much._

_For Hyungwon, Minhyuk had always been more than a friend. He was his family, his safe harbor. Even more than Hoseok, Minhyuk had accepted him as a brother and their relationship was true and deep. Minhyuk had protected him from his father, he had given him the strength to get up and start living again. He had taught him to believe in himself. Minhyuk had saved him from himself, physically and emotionally and Hyungwon would have never forgotten it._

_Seeing that version of his friend living a life without love had broken his heart. Minhyuk had always been a sunshine, an easygoing and open person. He had always loved skinship, hugs, kisses, holding hands. Minhyuk was warm and sunny... how could he have become such a cold person? What had happened, in his life, to change so much? Why had he never found someone who could help him to understand what love really is?_

_Hyungwon watched the watch with hatred. Of course, it was his fault if he was in that place, but without that damn watch, he could have been with his friends. Without that watch, any of that would have happened. Without that watch, he wouldn't have to watch the lives of those people who resembled his friends so much, but who were destined to suffer so much instead._

_Hyungwon didn't know if or when he could have gone back. Damn, he didn't even know where he was! But he knew without any doubt that he wouldn't have given up, not on himself, nor on his friends. He would have helped them, to the best of his abilities._

_He just hoped that this version of Minhyuk could see the light through that dream because he deserved to be loved and to find happiness._

\---

The place where he woke up looked familiar.

He was in a house. It was surely inhabited, he thought looking around. The shelves were in order, the house was clean and there was nothing out of place. It was a traditional home, with wooden sliding doors and the wooden floor, perfect to sleep on it. In that moment he was in what was the living room, with just a little sofa, an old television and some shelves full of objects and photos.

A particular picture caught his attention. There was a child and a man, both with serious and solemn expressions. It was one of those family pictures that people were used to take once a year, in professional and expensive photography studios. Minhyuk wondered where the mother of that child was and why they both looked so sad.

Suddenly, someone started to bang on the door, shouting a strangely familiar name. No one answered, but the person on the other side didn't give up. Minhyuk was shocked by that situation. He didn't think a robber would do such a scene, but the owner surely had the keys. Who was shouting so hard?

After a couple of minutes, that person probably understood that the house was empty and left. Minhyuk jumped on his feet when he heard another crashing sound a moment after. He saw a huge rock on the floor and he recognized a figure climbing over the window, jumping on the broken glasses on the floor.

Minhyuk was staring at him, even if that strange person didn't even acknowledge his presence. When he could finally see his face, Minhyuk gasped. What was _he_ doing there?

His lookalike looked around the room, ignoring Minhyuk and the mess he had created, shouting again that name.

“Hyungwon!”, he screamed, starting to run. “Damn, where the fuck are you, Chae Hyungwon?”.

Minhyuk followed him and he put a hand on his mouth when he recognized another figure sitting on the floor of the room his alter ego had just entered. He was wearing a white wool hat, which was covering his whole face beside two holes for the eyes.

“Hyungwon”, his alter ego breathed loud, kneeling beside the other boy. His hands were trembling and his face was full of fear. “Wonnie”, he whispered again, trying to take away the hat. That Hyungwon dodged his hand, moving his head away.

“Ya, Hyungwon. Stop it”, he raised his voice, forcing his friend to look at him again. He gently removed the hat, staring at that delicate face disfigured. Hyungwon had a black eye, his lips were swollen and bloody and he had several cuts on his forehead.

In front of his friend's silence, Hyungwon raised his eyes. They were cold and spent, like the one he had seen in that picture.

Minhyuk, still standing on the door, kept staring at that scene without understanding what was happening. Who could have beaten up that young man so bad?

His alter ego insulted someone under his breath, then he stood up again. Hyungwon barely followed that movement, the eyes fixed to the ground. Minhyuk decided to follow his lookalike, who in the meanwhile had left the room and the house without saying a single word.

Once in the street, the man started to run as fast as he could and Minhyuk could barely follow him. They ran through the city, leaving the houses behind and taking a path near the forest. His alter ego only stopped in front of an old greenhouse, hidden at the border of the forest, where he entered after looking around to be sure that no one had followed him. Minhyuk ran after him again, and he looked as the man started to search for something. He was clearly in a hurry and his breath was still fast from the run, but he didn't care. He finally found a key and, after moving some plants and boxes, he revealed a trapdoor in the floor. He opened it and disappeared, appearing after a couple of moments with a white jug, the one usually used to keep gasoline, and a little bottle of glass with a strange blue liquid inside.

“What are you doing?”.

They were both surprised by a voice and they turned towards the door, where two young men were looking at them.

“What are you doing?”, repeated the man with brown short hair.

His alter ego finally took some seconds to catch his breath, then he told his two friends what had happened to Hyungwon. “I can't stay still. Not anymore”, he concluded, holding his fists with rage.

“Why do you need that?”, the other one, a blond man with broad shoulders, asked.

Minhyuk hid the glass bottle in the pocket of his pants. “Just to be safe,” he said then.

“Are you sure?”.

“Sure”, his lookalike nodded. “This time I can't forgive it. Will you help me?”.

The two men shared a glance. “It would have happened anyway, sooner or later”, commented the brown-haired one.

The other nodded. “And Hyungwon needs our help”.

“And his father needs a lesson”.

The three of them organized the plan for that night and, waiting ten minutes between each other, they all left the greenhouse. Minhyuk followed his lookalike, who took a box of matches and a black spray can before leaving. He left the jug with the gasoline in a corner, probably with the thought of coming back later.

He then walked back to the city, lost in his mind. He arrived in a richer part of the city, completely different from where Hyungwon's house was. Minhyuk noticed for the first time that his alter ego was wearing good quality clothes and that he was walking with confidence in that environment. The man then stopped in front of a gate, entering the house. Minhyuk once again followed them.

He walked into an elegant and finely decorated living room and Minhyuk immediately noticed a figure on the sofa, sitting with his shoulder at them.

“Where have you been?”, he asked and Minhyuk found that voice vaguely familiar. He shivered a little, looking around. That place was giving him a strange feeling as if he had returned to where he belonged.

“Just around”, his lookalike answered, closing the door of his room without looking back.

Once again, Minhyuk seemed to be in a deja-vu.

\---

The setting of the dream suddenly changed and Minhyuk was thrown in the middle of a busy street. It was dark outside but there was an unnatural and red light in the sky. From where he was standing, Minhyuk could see a couple of houses engulfed by the flames. He recognized a huge X painted on one of the windows before this exploded under the power of that heath.

The street was full of people who were shouting, scared, and worried and someone was brave enough to break the door and enter one of those houses. He walked out a couple of minutes after, holding an old man.

Out of the corner of his eye, Minhyuk saw a suspicious movement and he recognized his alter ego's face -his face, to be correct- on the other part of the street. He rushed to him, and he also saw the two men he had met in the greenhouse. After watching the scene for a couple of minutes more, they walked away. He had understood that they had been the authors of that action and he had also understood that it had been a kind of revenge against Hyungwon's father, which Minhyuk supposed was the man that was saved from the fire. But what was the real motive of that gesture? Was it really just petty revenge from an angry group of teenagers? Minhyuk couldn't answer himself and at that point, he was curious to discover more about that man who looked so similar to him.

The three men stopped only once they were far away enough from the fire.

“He didn't die”, the brown-haired man whispered.

His alter ego nodded, a serious look on his face. “I should be angry because this was our chance, but we aren't murderers”.

Then why take such an excessive decision? If killing that man wasn't their goal, why doing something so spectacular?

“We have ruined his activity, once for all”, the blonde man said. “We all know what he was doing in that place”.

“We just have to hope he won't vent his wrath on Hyungwon”.

“I'll think about this. Go back home”, his lookalike said, touching the pocket where he had hidden the little glass bottle. He waved at the two men and started to walk towards what Minhyuk supposed was Hyungwon's home.

For the first time, Minhyuk decided to remain with the two boys, who walked away in the opposite direction.

“Do you think we did the right thing?”, the blond man asked.

The other sighed, shrugging in his shoulders. “It was just one of the many missions of the X CLAN”, he said, trying to convince himself. “We know it's gonna be a backlash. It's the reason we are doing all of this”.

“ _Minhyuk_ looked completely out of his mind while he was destroying that house”.

Minhyuk was startled by that name, even if it wasn't really a surprise after all he had seen.

“Of course he was. We all know what Hyungwon really means for him”.

“It's incredible how everyone had changed since Hyungwon had joined us”, the blond man murmured, a little smile on his lips. “Minhyuk more than all of us”.

“We have found a brother. And so did Minhyuk”, the other replied. “Wouldn't you do the same for a member of the CLAN?”.

“Of course I would! But they are different. What they feel for each other is different”.

“They saved each other, didn't they?”, sighed the brown haired man. “They both found a reason to keep living”.

“I've known Minhyuk since we were children and I don't think I've ever seen him looking at someone with the same eyes he looks at Hyungwon”, he chuckled.

“It's really beautiful seeing such a love blooming in front of our eyes. They finally found someone they can trust their life with”.

Minhyuk flinched at those words. Someone they can trust. Someone they can love. Why did those words sound so familiar?

“They both needed some love”.

At those words everything in front of Minhyuk started to blur away, the colors and the sounds whirling and losing any meaning. _Need love?_ Who was that stupid to need something as evanescent as love? Love wasn't a certainty, love was feeble and weak. Love only brought pain and loneliness. He had never experienced love, but maybe that was the reason he was so scared. He had seen enough people around him suffering, and he had decided that the emotions a sexual intercourse can bring are enough to substitute love. Sex would have never betrayed him, sex would have never lied, sex would have never left him alone.

Minhyuk was fine with his life. He was satisfied with what he had built. He didn't need anything more. He didn't need love, nor happiness, nor someone he could share those feelings with. He'd rather keep living his life than getting hurt and suffering.

But...

\---

_Hyungwon was sobbing._

_He could remember that day as if it had happened yesterday. The pain, the tears, the loneliness. Then that incredible warmth he had felt when Minhyuk had arrived to rescue him. He still remembered the sweet taste of that blue serum, which had saved him and had given him another chance._

_He remembered his father's wrath and his frantic research for that X CLAN who was destroying everything. Little did he know that his own son was part of it!_

_That had happened way before they discovered the watch. In that period, all the CLANs were starting a series of connected acts of vandalism with the goal of disturbing the life of the government in any way. Their clan used to sign themselves with an X, and all their missions had a precise purpose. How can he forget all of those?_

_Hyungwon thought about the members of his CLAN, in particular about Minhyuk. Their relationship had grown fast, becoming something deeper and special, to the point of defeating death. What had started as brotherly love had transformed into something more. Hyungwon was missing Minhyuk maybe more than anything else._

_Hyungwon just hoped that also that version of his friend, so scared of his own feeling that he never had the chance to experience, could find someone as special as Minhyuk had been for Hyungwon._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it?
> 
> Did you get all the references to the All In MV? I love writing those scenes, to the point I'm starting to think if I should write a fanfiction based only on All In (Is it obvious that it's one of my favourite MVs ever?
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter and about the story as a whole!


	5. KIHYUN - GREED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kihyun has always had one goal in mind: getting everything for himself, the more, the merrier. That was the only way he could have found happiness.   
> Will Hyungwon manage to show him that there's much more besides money and power to really be happy?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehi bebes!
> 
> I'm back with another chapter. This time we have Kihyun, and his sin is greed. I hope I was able to show both the shiny and the ugly effects of this sin! 
> 
> TW: mention of highly selfish and greedy behavior, slight mention of violence (nothing graphic). 
> 
> Let me know what you think about this chapter!   
> Enjoy ;)

_KIHYUN – GREED_

Kihyun was staring out of the window, a glass of wine in his hands, lost in his thoughts. The lights of the city were shining in the dark in front of his eyes, proof of the life of a large city which never sleeps. Kihyun, from his penthouse in one of the newest and most expensive complexes built on the river Han, was feeling like he could control all those little and busy ants.

Kihyun sipped slowly his wine, tasting that divine and deep flavor directly on his taste buds. He had paid it so much, but it was definitely worth it. It was produced in Italy and he had spent days looking for a place that could provide him a properly aged and homemade wine. After a stressful day at work nothing could be better than a glass of wine, almost like a good omen for the following day. He could barely remember the days when he had to settle for cheap and disgusting alcohol, which only managed to blur his memories and make him regret it the morning after.

Drinking the last sip of wine, Kihyun spared a last glance to the cars which were still flying on the bridge that crossed the river. It was already late, but so many people were still around, probably going home after work. Kihyun often imagined the life of ordinary people, subordinated at work and at home, living a sad and monotonous life. He pitied them, but he was also convinced that they were also at fault for that life.

After a few moments, Kihyun pressed a button on the wall, closing the white curtains. White was the main color of Kihyun's penthouse. It costed him a fortune to furnish and decorate that house according to his wishes. The living room was a wide open space, with a long table of crystal to separate it from the kitchen. Everything was in different shades of white, from the sofa, the carpets, the wallpaper, the furniture. Everything in that house was as white and clean to make it almost invisible. Above all, every object must respect its designated place. That was Kihyun's first rule and he didn't even let his mother move a plate in his kitchen. The rest of the house was composed of a bathroom, finely decorated with white marble, his bedroom, a walk-in closet and a study. Everything was in light colors and most importantly everything was perfectly in order.

Kihyun washed the glass before adding it in the dishwasher and starting the machine. He then sat on the sofa, taking pride in everything around him. He switched on the TV, leaving the volume on the minimum level. He didn't really care about that boring program, but it helped him to have some background sounds. Kihyun didn't even watch the television, totally focused on the news of the day on his phone. He then checked the stock market. A few days before he had discovered that one of his biggest investments had grown and given unexpected results. As a consequence, Kihyun had decided to use a part of that money to invest in another company, which was developing a new product which Kihyun believed could have a great success. Kihyun had grown used to that world: he couldn't predict the future, but he could predict how a certain company could develop. He had arrived to the point where he was almost sure about his investments and thanks to his instinct he had managed to grow his own assets.

Kihyun was just 29, but he was already a chief executive officer for one of the most important pharmaceutical companies of the country. Furthermore, he was reaching the final steps for creating his own personal activity, a little company focused on cosmetics which would have collaborated with the one he was in charge of at the moment. His next step, after that, was becoming one of the major shareholders and, with some luck, the true owner of that company.

Unlike what people around him were thinking, he didn't get anything for free. Kihyun had started from the bottom, as anyone else, probably even more. He had lived for the first six years of his life in an orphanage, where he had already decided he would have become the richest man in the whole Seoul, if not the country. He still remembered the sorrow he experienced every time he saw his peers from school hugging their parents outside of the school. He wanted to have the same thing, he wanted to have a family which could wait for him and love him, instead of the people of the orphanage, who were kind and sweet, but couldn't focus only on him. This is the reason Kihyun had immediately felt in love with his adoptive parents. After years yearning for some love, he could finally live the same life of everyone else. Little did matter all the small pranks he had done to prevent the other children from rubbing him off that chance. Thinking back to those times, Kihyun couldn't decide whether to be proud or embarrassed for himself, and for that reason he had never told anyone that secret.

At the thought of his parents, Kihyun couldn't avoid a smile forming on his lips. He looked at the picture he had hung above the television. He had really loved them, from the bottom of his heart, and he would have never forgotten the warmth and the happiness he had felt during his life. Thanks to them, he had lived a comfortable life, attending the university of his dreams without worries. They were a rich couple and this had probably been Kihyun's biggest fortune. At that moment, since both of them had retired, they had moved to live by the sea and Kihyun usually called them at least once a week and he always managed to spend at least a couple of days with them every few months.

What his parents didn't know was that Kihyun, that sweet and loving child they had chosen and raised, was hiding secrets they couldn't even imagine.

That night Kihyun went to sleep with a smile on his face, satisfied with his life. He woke up the next day at dawn. He was used to that routine and he had never liked to waste his time sleeping. He was aware that time is money and wasting time meant wasting money. That was true when he was still going to school, but also now that he was working. It was that mindset, that persistence, which allowed him to reach his position.

The way towards success, he had learned, wasn't for anyone, but only for who was ready to sacrifice anything with the only goal to reach the peak. Kihyun's goal was to own everything for himself, and he had followed that teaching word by word. Despite living a life without worries, he had never forgotten those six years he had spent in that orphanage, where his only thought had always been “you have to get everything to be happy, Kihyun”. He wanted to get everything, he wanted to be at the top of everything, to the point that no one could tell him what he could do, and he didn't care what he needed to do to achieve it.

With this mindset, Kihyun had graduated from high school and university, entering the world of adults and of opportunities. To reach his goal, Kihyun had often done things which could be considered immoral or wrong by the society. He was a supporter of “all a means to an end”, after all. If he had done something, it was because he didn't have any other options and because his goal was more important than any kind of moral.

As that time, during high school, when he had hacked the computer lab during a test to get a full mark. A stupid little thing, and nothing had gone wrong: he had got the full mark he needed to enter the university course, his peers had just took the test as always, the one who had failed were at fault because they didn't work hard enough. What had he done wrong?

Or, as that other time when he had paid his college professor to pass an exam. In that occasion as well, no one had suffered from his action: he had passed his exam, his professor had earned some money and none of his colleagues had been penalized for it. It had been an investment for his future, was it really a negative thing?

Step after step, sacrifice after sacrifice, result after result, Kihyun had put another stone on his path. He had graduated with honors and with a recommendation letter from the Dean, which had helped him to get a position inside the company of his dreams. He had started once again from the bottom, doing his best to improve himself and show that he was worth something. That way, he had become the favorite candidate, signing a permanent contract after only six months. He had secretly laughed at his colleagues who were fired: they were the stupid ones, not being able to take an opportunity and transform it into something more concrete with just a little of hard work. They were the stupid ones who were okay with an ordinary contract and an ordinary salary. He wanted more. He would have gotten more.

This was how he had gained his position and the praise from his older colleagues. He had stolen an idea and developed it into something even better. He had been promoted, the one who hadn't been brave enough had been fired. This is how the company's world works, after all, and Kihyun had adapted to it really quickly.

He had become a full time employee, then a team leader, then a manager and after that the manager of the whole sector. And when one of his father's friends was nominated for the presidential elections, he had asked him for an investment in exchange for some favors. That way he had managed to bring more money into the company and also a few changes which had resulted in even more positive profits. His position inside the company had grown year after year and he had become someone essential. His own superiors often asked him for ideas or suggestions and Kihyun was always ready to prove his abilities. The turning point in his life was the proposal of a merger with an important foreign company, which was owned by one of his old college professors. That deal had increased exponentially the value of the company's stocks and as a consequence also Kihyun's position and value. His appointment as the CEO had been the result of an infinite number of actions and sacrifices, of which Kihyun was proud of. He had overshadowed all the old colleagues, showing how strong willed and competent he really was. He had finally gained the power he wanted to have for himself. Now he had money, a successful position and the respect of everyone who worked under him.

But it wasn't enough.

Kihyun got out at dawn to jog, a habit he had started during his university days, and he came back almost one hour after. He showered and ate breakfast, dressing in one of his best suits. Then he took his overnight bag and he left for work.

That day he had scheduled an important meeting with an investor, someone he had met through an old college peer. He had never cared for friendship, but he had always paid attention to his connections. He had always been kind and helpful and this was how he had widened his connections. He knew people in almost every field and they were all always ready to repay some favors. It didn't really matter if they helped him because of true respect or fear of a blackmail. On the contrary, he had learned how the latter was usually the best option to get a deal, since fear was always more powerful than faith based on friendship. Friendships could be broken, but fear was everlasting.

Kihyun walked into the glass skyscraper where his company was located, dreaming of the day he would have owned all of that. But he was mostly thinking about how he could develop his own activity and that idea excited him.

He greeted the girls at the reception with a smile, he passed the metal detector and he stood in front of the elevator, waiting for it to stop at the ground floor. He then entered, pushing the button of the 20thfloor, the one reserved to their company. He greeted all the colleagues he recognized and he opened in a kind smile when he saw the President walking into the elevator at the 4thfloor, followed by his vice.

“Oh, Yoo. I was looking for you”, the President greeted him with a smack on his shoulder, at which Kihyun answered with a bow, ignoring that behavior. He was used to it, after all those years, and he was so close to taking the position of that man that he wouldn't have snapped in front of him. Not that Kihyun cared about that man's opinion: he had understood that he was just someone who had been lucky enough to be born in a chaebol family, taking the position of the President after his father's retirement. He wasn't fit for that position, and Kihyun was sure he could have been way better. He would have already gotten rid of that annoying Vice president, for example, which was probably the creepiest people he'd ever seen, and he was also bad at what he was doing.

“I want you to attend the meeting with Mr Yukimoto when he arrives in Korea”, the President told him when the elevator started to move again. “After all, we got this deal thanks to you”.

Kihyun nodded with a serious look. “I'll ask my secretary to organize my schedule for the next week”.

“No one had ever managed to convince him though”, the Vice president added, and Kihyun just gave him a small glance full of disdain.

“Clearly no one had ever shown him the best offer”, he replied.

Obviously no one, not Kihyun nor Mr Yukimoto, would have ever talked about _how_ Kihyun had convinced him. It had cost him months and a surprising high amount of money to pay private detectives and find the weak point of that powerful man. After that, he just had to show a couple of pictures and a smile which couldn't be misunderstood. Yukimoto had changed his mind in less than a minute, picking his precious fountain pen to sign the contract. Once again, despite his unconventional method, Kihyun was satisfied with the result: his hard work had yielded positive returns and he more than the company had benefited from it. Beside the contract, in fact, he had bought enough shares to hold an important position inside Yukimoto's company. This could have become a great advantage in the future, especially for the activity he was about to start himself.

When he reached the 20thfloor, he greeted the President with a bow and he walked towards his office. He updated his secretary and he closed the door behind him. He had a few hours before the meeting and he needed to check the contract one last time. Especially, he had to make sure that meeting would have been a success. For that reason, he slipped into his bag a white envelope, in which he had what he needed to convince his client. He hoped to manage to get his signature even without any blackmail, because many would have suffered from what he was ready to reveal, but Kihyun didn't really care. He just needed that contract, no matter what.

As he had expected, the meeting ended with an extremely good result, and he didn't even use his special envelope, which remained hidden in his bag. He had come back to his office with that important contract signed, which meant a new investment for the company, and also an unexpected offer for himself. His client, in fact, had proposed to him for dinner with his daughter, who was around his age, well educated and extremely beautiful, based on the picture he had shown him. Kihyun had accepted that offer with a smile, thinking about that dinner as a simple investment for himself. He had dated in the past, more than once, but he had never settled for anything less than the best for his partner, even if it was only a night stand. He had never cared about love itself, but he was aware of the power of marriage as a way to climb ever more steps in society. The higher, the more, and Kihyun wanted to have it all. Whether it was money, respect and even women or men, not that he really cared.

That night Kihyun returned home with a little smile on his lips. It had been a particularly profitable day and he was satisfied with himself. He was getting close to what he wanted, he just had to wait a little more and then he could have enjoyed all the best for the rest of his life.

Kihyun didn't feel alone in that huge house. He didn't need a partner, not as a company. A part of his plan was getting married and having children who could have been an additional asset to show his power.

His life was perfect, his job was perfect. Everything was perfect and soon it would have been even better. Kihyun had worked hard to get everything he wanted, and that wasn't the end. He would have got even more, of everything. He didn't care about others, he didn't care about anything else apart from himself. Kihyun wanted everything, Kihyun would have gotten everything. That was the only goal in his life, and nothing could have changed his mind.

Kihyun fell asleep after a quick dinner and a shower, already planning the day after. He fell asleep with the assurance that his future was going to be even greater.

\---

_Hyungwon was playing distractedly with the watch, caressing the broken clock face with a finger._

_Despite all his properties and everything he had gained, that version of his friend had looked especially sad and alone. Hyungwon clearly remembered the Kihyun he had met in the X CLAN. The young boy had joined them after an accident, in which he was injured at his leg. But that disability had never stopped Kihyun to help everyone who needed him. He was a serious and precise man, always focused on his rules, whether they were moral or physical, and he had a great heart, both for his family and for his friends._

_Once again, Hyungwon wondered what had happened to his friend to prevent him from becoming an extremely selfish and greedy person. Maybe it was because in his universe Kihyun had grown up with a loving family and he had never lacked any support from them or the CLAN members._

_Hyungwon sighed and, as he had already done for his other friends, he turned the little wheel, hoping for his friend that the dream could help him find some true happiness._

\---

The place where he woke up looked familiar.

Kihyun was in a dark and messy room. On his right the wall was covered by a huge shelf with hundreds of books, journals, papers and random objects. On the other side of the room there was a panel with colored post-its and papers attached with some scotch, united by red and blue lines and covered in small and dense letters. On the corner of the panel, Kihyun recognized a map, probably representing a city, on which several points were highlighted in different colors.

His attention was caught by a piece of paper stuck on the bottom of the panel. Kihyun walked into the room, recognizing between those signs some physical and chemical formulas he had studied in the past, and some others he couldn't recognize. On that paper on that bottom, some letters and numbers seemed to represent the solution of that strange equation: 4155102M. Kihyun had no idea of the meaning behind those numbers, it didn't look like anything he had studied in University.

Focused on what he had in front of his eyes, Kihyun recognized the sound of some voices only when it was too late. The door opened and he barely had the time to turn towards those people, trying to find an excuse for being in that place. The two men who entered the room, however, completely ignored him, as if he was invisible. He muffled a surprised sound with a hand when one of the two men lowered the hoodie and showed his face. What was _he_ doing there?

Kihyun observed his alter ego walking through the room, ignoring the mess on the table and taking the piece of paper with the strange equation. He then passed it to the other man.

“Is this the solution?”, the other asked.

“The one Hoseok and I have found”, his lookalike explained. “We have no idea of its meaning, nor if it's the right one”. Then he paused for a second, clearly nervous. “Jooheon, isn't this too much?”.

That Jooheon sighed, folding the paper and stuffing it into the pocket of his jacket. “You know we don't have any other options”.

“I do, but...”.

“Let's go, it's not safe being here”.

Kihyun followed the two men outside the room, listening to the sound of their steps echoing in the empty hallway. Both of them were silent and Kihyun noticed how his alter ego was limping.

“How is your leg?”, Jooheon asked him when they were finally out in the street, starting to walk towards a narrow alley.

“It's healing”, his lookalike answered, no emotions in his voice.

“I don't think I have ever told you how brave you have been that day”.

The man shrugged his shoulders. “I had no other options”, he replied. “I wasn't brave at all, I was so scared”.

“Of course you were, you could have died”.

“So did those people”.

Jooheon nodded, smiling a little. “I know. And it's the reason why we are together now”.

Kihyun wondered what they were talking about and what that man who looked so similar to him had done to earn such praises. Probably that man was one of those selfless people always ready to help whoever was in need. What an idiot. Kihyun hated those kinds of people and he would have never understood the reasons behind their actions.

The two men kept walking, talking a little once in a while, until they reached the suburbs of the city, where the street was replaced by an unpaved path. They looked behind themselves more than once, making sure not to be followed, until they reached a little greenhouse at the border of the wood. The two men entered and, sure that no one would have seen him, Kihyun followed them.

“Did you take it?”, a blonde man asked.

Jooheon nodded, taking the piece of paper from his pocket and showing it to the other four men in the room. In the meanwhile his alter ego had found an old chair and he had sat on it, grimacing a little while massaging his leg.

“We just have to understand what that means. And how we can apply it to the watch”, he said.

“Do you have any news about it?”Jooheon asked the tallest man, who just shook his head.

“It's not at home. If he isn't wearing it, it can only mean that he keeps it at work”, he said.

Jooheon sighed. “It will be difficult”.

Kihyun was listening to their discussion deeply confused. He had no idea what they were talking about and everything looked like a low quality movie. Despite that, there was something that was keeping him there, some kind of curiosity he couldn't ignore.

“Where is Hyunwoo?”, his lookalike asked after a couple of minutes.

The rest of those guys looked at him, surprised. “Don't you know that his father died?”, Jooheon said.

Kihyun remained silent, his eyes bigger and full of confusion and fear. “No”, he murmured. “I didn't know”. Then he jumped on his feet and he walked out of the greenhouse as fast as he could. Kihyun followed him.

His alter ego returned to the city, keeping the eyes on the ground to hide his face under his hoodie, but Kihyun could recognize the shaking of his shoulders and the sound of his sobbing. He wondered what this Hyunwoo meant for this version of himself. He also tried to remember when he was the last time he had cried for someone else, but he just erased that thought.

After walking for around then minutes, his lookalike stopped in front of a building. He wiped his tears and he entered, without even ringing the doorbell. Kihyun followed him through the stairs until they reached the 4thfloor, where the man stopped in front of a white door. He started to bang on it strongly, until this opened.

“Ki...”.

“When were you thinking of telling me that...”, his angry sentence was stopped as soon as he entered the door and Kihyun understood the reason as quickly. Everything was a mess, the furniture was destroyed, all its contents on the floor and there was also a hole on the wall. It was as if a hurricane had just passed.

“What... Did they come for you?”, he asked then.

Hyunwoo nodded. “It's not a good idea staying here”.

“Fuck”, his lookalike whispered under his breath, moving a hand through his hair in a nervous motion that looked extremely familiar. “Do I look like I care?”.

“You are too small to be so brave”, the other tried to joke, cracking a smile on his handsome face.

His alter ego glanced at him and Kihyun knew he had the same annoyed expression on his face. “Pack your things, you're gonna stay with me”.

“But...”.

“Hyung”, he interrupted him. “Don't argue. Pack your things”.

Hyunwoo looked at his friends for a couple of seconds, sighing. “Why are you always so selfless, _Kihyun_?”.

“Because it's the right thing to do. Now, pack. Quickly”.

Kihyun jerked at those words. He had never understood selflessness and he had always considered it a stupid virtue. No one had ever gained anything by being altruist and kind without having a personal goal, that was a fact. Everyone, also the “good ones”, always wanted to gain something from their good deeds.

Hyunwoo rolled his eyes, starting to collect his things from the floor. “The right thing isn’t always the best choice”.

His lookalike ignored him, helping him to fold his clothes. “I don't care”, he said after a couple of silent minutes. “It's the right thing for me”.

“Even if it's dangerous? Even if you won't gain anything?”.

The man stopped with a shirt in his hands, a serious look in his eyes. “I'm not helping you for personal gain, Hyung”, he replied offended. “I'm doing it because you're my friend. And because it's the right thing to do. Now stop blabbering and pack your stuff quickly”.

Kihyun couldn't hear the reply because the room started to spin in front of his eyes, confusing colors and sounds.

What was the point in being selfless without a reason behind it? Why doing something just because it was the _right thing_? What would he have gained in helping a _friend_ , not even his family, knowing it was dangerous?

Kihyun had never believed in the selflessness shown in books or movies, probably because he had never had the chance to experience it himself. His experience had taught him that every man acts for his own personal gain and that there is nothing free, whether it be an object or even sentiments. Everything has a price, every action has a consequence. What was the point in putting aside one's own goal just to help someone else? Or even worse, going through a potentially dangerous situation for the sake of something as fleeting as _friendship_? Was that romantic concept really worth enough to risk his life? What was the point in doing the right thing, when you could have died out of it?

Kihyun had always had a clear answer in mind. Nothing was worth it if he couldn't gain something from it.

But then he remembered the eyes of that person who looked so similar to him. They were strong, full of life and fire, ready to fight for themselves and for the others. They were the eyes of someone with a goal, the eyes of someone ready to do anything to protect that goal. But maybe, that goal was something different from richness and power, maybe it was that friendship that Kihyun had always feared so much.

\---

_Hyungwon was watching those scenes, lost in his thoughts._

_Out of all the negative things that had happened to him, being able to live old events he had never seen in person was probably the best thing. He had started to know each of his friends better and also the reason why Jooheon had chosen each of them. They were all special, in their own way._

_He had always known how selfless Kihyun could be. He was brave, with a strong idea of what was right or wrong and he had always fought for his own ideals. He had never refused to help when someone was in need, even if it could have been dangerous for himself. Hyungwon had never realized, though, how strong his devotion for the X CLAN really was, and he regretted it._

_Hyungwon hoped this Kihyun could understand the beauty and the power of selflessness and friendship, and that he could change the ultimate goal in his life. He hoped that dream had taught him that, in reality, there's so much more beside power and money. That altruism could be an even bigger wealth, especially for himself._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think about this chapter? Did you enjoy it?   
> Let me know in the comments!


	6. JOOHEON - GLUTTONY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jooheon is an amazing performance and the fame and power are his own nourishment, what makes him alive. He could do anything to protect his own career.   
> Will Hyungwon be able to remind him of the joy of both giving and receiving something?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehi Bebes ^^
> 
> I'm back with another chapter. Today we have Jooheon, and the sin is gluttony. It was a difficult chapter, mostly because I didn't want to represent gluttony as the mere desire for food. Here, in fact, it's more a metaphorical desire: Jooheon's gluttony is not for food itself, but for something that can represent nourishment for his own soul... I hope I could express this concept well!
> 
> Also, this whole story is inspired by All In, and by this point, you should have realized that the second parts of each chapter are settled in that world. I tried to be as similar to the MV as possible, but I also added some personal revisions of the story or some theories that weren't explained. 
> 
> TW: mild talk of violence and war
> 
> I hope you'll like this chapter as well!
> 
> Enjoy!

_JOOHEON – GLUTTONY_

Jooheon was focused on the sound of his steps on the linoleum floor. He was walking towards the backstage, his mind repeating for the last time the order of the songs he had to perform that night. He distractedly fixed the scarf with his logo around his wrist, as he always did during his concerts.

There were less than ten minutes left before the beginning of the show and Jooheon had always considered that the most exciting moment. He loved that overwhelming feeling that only the adrenaline could give him. He was over sensitive, highly emotional-driven and easily irritable, but he wouldn't have changed those emotions for anything in the world. He wasn't scared of the stage, he was actually living to perform on it: those emotions were, to be honest, what really nourished all his performances.

Jooheon ignored his manager, who was nervously blabbing about some technical problem, and looked for the last time at his figure in a long mirror placed at the entrance of the stage. Jooheon was perfect. His face was neat, his eyebrows were well defined and thin, the eyes were sharpened by the dark makeup, which gave him a mysterious and fascinating look, also thanks to the colored lenses. His strong points were definitely his dimples, which formed very easily every time he smiled or moved his full and reddish lips. He was wearing a black shirt, the first three buttons were open to show a bit of his chest and his clavicles. His fabulous thighs were wrapped in some kind of leather pants, always black, quite uncomfortable, but definitely perfect to define the lines of his body. Jooheon had never hidden his narcissistic side, he loved to dress well and especially to wear clothes who could enhance his body features. He had worked with many stylists who had defined his taste difficult, but he didn't care because he love it and that was all that mattered for him.

Jooheon took a deep breath, slowing the pace of his heart and smiling a little at his image in the mirror. He glanced quickly at the watch on the wall, and decided that he was done waiting. There were a few minutes left, but he wanted to start and nothing could have stopped him.

He grabbed a mic, making sure it was working, and climbed the few steps towards the stage. That was his show, what he had worked hard for, and he had the power to do whatever he wanted.

The lights were shining in the dark of the crowd, his fans were screaming and jumping, following him while he started to sing the first lines of the song. Soon, Jooheon found himself at the edge of the stage, a leg bent on one of the loudspeakers and the arms wide opened, as if he wanted to embrace the whole place.

Jooheon was smiling, his chest warm from all the emotions only being on the stage could give him. That was the reason he loved to perform. Those emotions, those thrills, those lights, those sounds, everything. Everything always made him euphoric. Everything made him feel special, as if he could only be himself while on the stage. The normal Jooheon was nothing compared to the Jooheon who could shine as bright as a star with a microphone in his hand. He was destined to shine.

Jooheon liked to think he was really alive only when he was performing. As if those emotions could in some way feed his body and his soul, making him feel full and perfect.

Yes, Jooheon was perfect.

And he would have done everything to protect his only way of being alive.

\---

Jooheon greeted his fans once again, laughing at their encore chants which were becoming louder and louder. He was physically tired, but he could have kept going for the whole night. For this reason he shared a glance with the staff on the border of the stage, signaling them to play the encore song they had decided beforehand.

His fans started to scream when they heard the first notes, but Jooheon immediately realized that something was wrong. He was giving his back to the crowd and he glanced at his manager, who gave him an apologetic look.

That wasn't the song they had decided to play as the encore stage and he hesitated for a few seconds before starting to sing, turning around as if nothing had happened.

When the curtain closed in front of his eyes, after that performance, Jooheon was holding his fists, livid. The thing he probably hated the most, more than insects, were people who couldn't do their jobs.

He ignored his whining manager, throwing him the microphone, and he walked fast towards the staff area, where he immediately recognized the director of the concert. That man was laughing with some colleagues and Jooheon felt his blood boiling at that sight.

“What happened?”, he growled, pushing the man on his shoulder to make him turn towards him.

“Oh, Jooheon!”, the man smiled even wider, ignoring his furious look and giving him a pat on the back. “You did great!”.

Jooheon tried to hold himself, closing his eyes and taking a couple of deep breaths. He moved away from that idiot with a sharp move. “I asked what happened. Why did you play the wrong song?”

“Oh, that”, the man giggled a little, embarrassed. “There was a mistake, please forgive us. But you were great and your fans loved it. It was an amazing concert!”.

“It was a disaster”, Jooheon replied, even more angry than before. Why couldn't that man realize what a big mistake they had done? He couldn't just swipe it off with a stupid apology. “I was so surprised that I didn't start singing on the right beat and everyone noticed”.

“Oh, don't worry”, the director said, trying to pat him again before stopping with his hands midair at Jooheon's glace. “They loved it, you can believe me. Look, you're already trending worldwide on Twitter”, he added, showing him his smartphone.

Jooheon grunted, taking the phone and scrolling quickly through the feed. He saw a countless number of people talking about the last performance and he shivered. They defined his reaction as cute and funny, but Jooheon couldn't see either of them. It had been a stupid mistake, something a professional should never do. And Jooheon had only one rule on the stage: never make mistakes.

“Incompetents”, he hissed under his breaths, giving the phone back and storming out of the backstage. The director looked at him surprised and confused. It had been an amazing concert and they had sold many more tickets they had expected. Many papers were likely to talk about it the day after, so why getting so angry over such a small mistake, of which no one really cared about?

Jooheon ignored the whole staff, walking towards his changing room, his poor manager behind him. He opened the door with a loud bang and both his stylist and his make up artist jumped up from the surprise, opening in a wide smile as soon as they saw him.

“Jooheon, amazing as always”, SongMi, the stylist, exclaimed. HaEun, the make up artist, agreed. “Your fans loved it”.

Jooheon frowned at those words. “Amazing?”, he repeated, taking off the necklace with a sharp move and throwing it on the desk. “I didn't know that _amazing_ could also mean _cosmic disaster_ in the dictionary, but I guess I'm the only one who thinks differently”.

The two women looked at each other confused, then glanced at the manager, who just sighed and shook his head a little.

Jooheon grabbed his clothes and he slammed the door of his changing room. He couldn't understand why people were so blind. He made a mistake. A stupid, huge mistake, one that not even amateurs do. He was a professional and he had forgotten the words of his own song. He didn't care if it wasn't his fault or if people thought it was cute. He should have never made that mistake and he was sure there would have been consequences for his career.

The complacency of the people around him made him even angrier. They were treating him like a whining child, scoffing at his worries and at his mistakes, as if they weren't important. As if his career wasn't important for them, as if his dream was just a childish desire.

Instead, he was aware of the importance of the perception of an artist. He was supposed to be perfect, always, in any situation, and no excuse could forgive any mistake. That was the harsh reality of show business. And now, after such a stupid mistake, he would have had to work even harder to make people forget it.

Jooheon was ready to fight with his own life to keep his dream living. How could he survive, after all, without all of that? The adrenaline of the stage, the screams of the fans, his name shouted by thousands of voices... how could he survive without all of that?

He didn't spend years training and doing sacrifices to just give up. He wanted more, always more. He wanted to perform on the stage, being the center of the life of those people, being cherished and worshiped. He wanted to be an idol, a true inspiration. And he could have done that only being perfect, always.

And Jooheon would have done anything in his power to keep living that life.

\---

Jooheon walked out of the bathroom covered by a white and fluffy robe and a baby pink towel on his shoulders. He dried his blonde hairs with that, looking for his manager in the room.

“Have you taken down all the videos?”.

The young man jumped on his seat, holding his chest and staring at him with widened eyes. Jooheon rolled his eyes, pondering once again the idea of finding a new manager, someone more efficient and less of a crybaby. But YongHo had known him since his debut days and training a new manager would have been too much of an effort.

“Today's mistake's videos”, Jooheon said slowly.

“Y-Yes, I deleted them all. But I fear that it was a mistake. Now people are starting to wonder why they disappeared and I'm sure they will be around again by tomorrow morning”.

“Well, you'll delete them again”, Jooheon just replied, as if it was the only answer. “It's your job”.

YongHo sighed, nodding. “Of course”.

“Oh, right. What about tomorrow's interview?”.

YongHo watched him with a confused stare for a couple of seconds. “I -I already told you what they said. You have to attend the interview with the other artists they've chosen. It's their concept”.

Jooheon snorted, as if he had just listened at the most stupid idea ever. He threw the towel on the ground and he slumped on the sofa, crossing his legs. He had never liked those long and endless tours, but he was aware of their importance and he did like the part of the performance itself. For that reason he was always picky with the choice of the hotel: he wanted all the comfort his own house could give him.

“I'm not going to take an interview with other people”, he replied. “Or me, or the others. Call them again”.

YongHo gasped and his hands started to tremble a little on his lap. “N-now?”.

Jooheon watched him with a sigh. “Do you want to call them right before the interview? What kind of manager are you?”.

“But...”. YongHo was unable to finish the sentence. The organizers of the interview had been clear. It was a decision the journal itself had taken and they couldn't change the concept of the interview for just one of the singers. Jooheon wasn't even the most famous one between the chosen ones, and they didn't hesitate in making him understand that they could have excluded him pretty easily. After all, it was a huge opportunity for Jooheon, but if he didn't want to take it, it wasn't their problem.

“Stop complaining”, Jooheon snapped. “I won't share anything with anyone, I don't care who it is”.

YongHo sighed. He had already explained to him what an important interview that was, and he refused to repeat himself. He was aware of how quick-tempered Jooheon could be when he was angry, and he used to get especially upset if he wasn't at the center of the attention.

Jooheon was ignoring him. He was scrolling through his Twitter feed, grimacing at the quantity of people who were calling his mistake _cute_. He then watched the whole concert. Everything would have been perfect without that stupid mistake, how could it be cute?

And that stupid interview was the cherry on the top of the mess that day had been. As if he could share his precious time and all the attention with someone else. He didn't care if they were more famous. He deserved to be the only topic of everything that involved his name.

His life was only his, and there was nothing to share. Jooheon wanted everything for himself. The adrenaline, the excitement, the attention and the love of his fans. He was the center. The fame and glory should have been only for him. They were his nourishment, they were as important as the hair he was breathing or the food he was eating.

He needed them to live.

While eating his dinner, Jooheon thought about his life. It was endearing the memory of a little Jooheon, so lively and happy, always ready to help anyone, with the only goal of receiving smiles and attention back. That was his beginning. Jooheon had always loved being at the center of attention, since he was a child. He was always the main character at his school's plays, he was always the best at school, at sport, at anything he did. He loved when people praised him, he loved when people smiled and he loved even more being the source of that happiness. At the same time, he hated mistakes, because they made him look wrong. When he made a mistake, people didn't smile at him. Instead, he wanted to be adored and loved, and the only way was being perfect, always.

Jooheon hadn't changed at all, growing up. He had become a singer because he loved to sing, he loved staying on the stage, where he could be the center of the world. He loved interacting with his fans, he loved the feeling of being loved.

He had always been discreet about his own personal life, which to be honest was nothing as exciting as people thought it was. To be at the top, to be perfect, Jooheon had to make many sacrifices. With himself, with his family, with his friends and lovers. A few of them were still by his side, but they all knew him too well to remain hidden to the public.

Jooheon was the only one who could shine, and he was ready to do everything in his power to always do.

\---

_Hyungwon sighed, again._

_He was so tired, especially emotionally. Watching the wreaked versions of the life of his friends was hurting him so deeply and strongly. He knew for sure that he couldn't do much for them, and that awareness was even more painful._

_Hyungwon clearly remembered Jooheon's role and what he had always represented. He had created the X CLAN, he was his savior, his friend, his family. It hurt so much watching him being consumed by his own greed for attention and fame. It was as if he couldn't live without those emotions, to the point he had become a glutton for them. Little did he know that there was so much more that could have made him feel even better._

_Hyungwon hated that reality, he hated watching what his friend had become._

_As he already did before, he turned the small wheel of the watch with trembling fingers, hoping that he could at least give some comfort to one of the most precious people he'd ever known._

\---

The place where he woke up looked familiar.

Jooheon was expecting to wake up on a stage, maybe in the middle of a concert. Instead, he was at the border of a forest and everything around him was dark and cold. There was a path in front of him and Jooheon decided to follow it.

He walked in silence for a couple of minutes, listening carefully to all the rumors of the forest, which was especially awake at that hour of the night. Out of the blue, something attracted his attention, something shining. Jooheon squinted his eyes, recognizing a little greenhouse at the end of the path. The house was dark and the only light was given by the moon, which had reflected on something hung on the front of the door.

Jooheon was moved by his own curiosity and started to walk towards the greenhouse. He stopped after a couple of steps, though, after hearing some voices behind him. He didn't even have the time to hide or to leave the path. He turned, and he watched as two young men walked past him, as if he was completely invisible. One of them was blonde, almost white, and the other was... Jooheon gasped. What was _he_ doing there?

The white haired boy and his alter ego were talking under their breaths, walking fast towards the greenhouse. Jooheon looked while his lookalike opened the small door and closed it again after his friend was inside. Confused and a bit scared, Jooheon ran and decided to follow them inside as well, since it was clear that they couldn't see him.

His lookalike was trying to light an old oil lamp, while his friend opened another door at the back of the first section of the greenhouse. Once again, they didn't even notice Jooheon, who was watching him from close.

“Did you find them?”, the white haired boy asked.

His lookalike nodded. “Yes. Now we have to approach them carefully. The X CLAN must remain a secret”.

“It's easier said than done”, the other scoffed.

“We have time, Minhyuk. Be patient”.

That Minhyuk snorted, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “You didn't see what they've done this morning, Jooheon. They've thrown the poor Mr Kim, the baker, in the middle of the street and they almost killed him. Just because _they_ didn't want to pay for his bread”.

“I know”, Jooheon, his alter ego, sighed. “Those people are crazy. But we do have time”, he repeated.

“Listen here. I trust you, you know I do. But this doesn't make sense. What do you think those stupid flowers can do against their weapons? Have you seen how many of them are coming?”.

Jooheon, the real one, furrowed his forehead. What kind of shitty movie was that? Soldiers? Weapons? X CLAN? What were they talking about?

The Jooheon from his dream, instead, nodded slowly, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. “I need you to trust me a little more, Min. There are things that must happen, things that I can't change, that nobody can change. I need your help”.

“How can I help you if I don't know what you want to do? This greenhouse, for example. What does this mean? What does those flowers mean and why are they so important? And why don't you want the help from the other CLANs? How can seven people win this war?”.

“Those flowers will be what will end this was”, his lookalike exclaimed, pointing with his finger to the wall at the end of the greenhouse. “Please, Hyung. Believe me. Just this time”.

Minhyuk watched his friends, the confusion and the anger burning in his eyes. Then he sighed. “I hate being in the dark, Jooheon, you know it”.

“I'll tell you everything as soon as we've formed our CLAN. Believe me, please”, he repeated.

“I do believe you”, Minhyuk murmured. “I do. But I'm scared. This... this goes beyond what we can do, Jooheon. How can we fight those people?”.

“I'm scared too, Min. But we must do it. I... I must do it. For my family. For this city. I'll understand if you want to give up, you're not forced to help me”.

“You know that I won't let you die alone, you idiot”, Minhyuk growled. “Sometimes I think you're too altruistic. Your family has left you only this greenhouse. If those magic flowers are so powerful, why didn't you just leave?”.

Jooheon, his alter ego, looked at Minhyuk for a couple of seconds with a frown. “Would you be able to leave if you know you're the only chance those people have to live?”.

Minhyuk opened his mouth to answer, but then he just shook his head.

“There are things we can't change”, his alter ego repeated. “The past it's one of them. But we can change the future. My parents have given me much more than this greenhouse. They've loved me so much, and they've taught me so much. Now it's my turn to do something for the others”.

Minhyuk sighed. “Okay. So, do we just need to recruit five more people?”.

“I'll think about that. For now, just be careful and keep your eyes open. Tell me everything that happens”.

“Yes, sir!”, Minhyuk exclaimed, giggling a little when Jooheon rolled his eyes, a little smirk on his lips as well.

“Stop playing the idiot. Go home, your parents must be worried about you”.

Minhyuk shrugged in his shoulders. “They probably didn't even notice I'm not in my room anymore”.

He turned to leave, but Jooheon called him again. “Hyung. Do you... do you have the flower?”.

Minhyuk touched the little pocket on his shirt. “I do. Even if I don't know what It can do. I'll probably die within a few days anyway”.

“It won't”, his alter ego whispered. “Just keep it with you, always. Okay?”.

Minhyuk nodded, ignoring the strange behavior of his friend, and left the greenhouse.

With a sight, the young man sat on an old wooden chair, covering his face with his hands. The Jooheon from reality watched him from the side, wondering what he was going to do now. He didn't really understand what the two men were talking about, and he didn't understand the behavior of that man as well. Why being so altruistic and selfless, especially if something as big as a war was going to happen? No one was going to thank a dead man, so what was the point?

His alter ego sighed heavily, removing his hands. His lips were trembling and his eyes were wet. “If only things were easy”, he said to himself.

_It is, it's easy. You can leave._ Jooheon knew the man couldn't hear him, but he couldn't refrain from saying those words.

He watched his lookalike playing with a little golden key. Then he got up and he walked towards the end of the greenhouse, where some huge shelves were covering the whole side. He moved something and then he pushed away the shelves, revealing a little door, which he opened with the little key. Jooheon reached to watch the inside. It was a huge hidden room, full of hundreds or thousands of blue little flowers, which were shining under the light of the moon. His lookalike stopped at the beginning of the room, watching those flowers as if they were his bigger and most precious secret.

“I'm doing the right thing”, he said to himself again. “I don't care about what will happen to me. I've already accepted the fact that I'm not the main character of this story”.

With those words, the images in front of Jooheon's eyes started to whirl, becoming a confusing mess of blue and silver.

_I'm not the main character of this story._

What an idiot. Everyone is the main character of his own life. What was the point of living a life in which you're not the center of everything? Human beings don't live forever, and it's never worth doing sacrifices for someone else. Jooheon had always thought that the only true goal in everybody's life was being happy, and receiving is the only way to be really happy. Everybody wants different things, of course, whether it be love, money, attention or whatever else. That was an universal truth.

But...

But those words had moved something in his mind. Jooheon had given up the idea of doing something for someone else, thinking that he could be happy and satisfied only gaining everything for himself. But that night he suddenly remembered an old time, a far away time when the little Jooheon cherished both actions. He remembered when he was happy from both giving and receiving something. Give smiles, to gain smiles. Give attention to gain them.

Was it really worth it?

\---

_Hyungwon smiled a little._

_He wasn't there when Jooheon had started to create the X CLAN, but he did remember when Minhyuk had told him about that story._

_Hyungwon, as much as the others, had always wondered what was the purpose of those flowers that Jooheon had always cherished as the most important treasure ever. But the sudden appearance of the watch had clearly changed something in what had been Jooheon's plan and, after some months, the man had stopped to talk about them at all. He supposed the watch had been an unexpected variable, something so powerful that even Jooheon had to give up on what he had always believed being the solution to their problems._

_Hyungwon didn't know what had happened in his universe after he had disappeared. He didn't know if he really managed to turn back the time, and once again he wondered if his friends were safe. He was there, holding a power so big and scary, something that could have really changed the world. But he couldn't use it for the people he loved. Maybe that was the punishment for his arrogance._

_Hyungwon sighed again. He didn't know if those dreams could really help his friends, but they were his only chance to do something for them. He could only hope, for all of them, and for himself._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what did you think about this? 
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter. Feel free to tell me anything, comments and kudos are always well accepted!!


	7. CHANGKYUN - ENVY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Changkyun has always had a dream in life: getting everything other people had to make himself the best. And, so he thought, the happiest.   
> Will Hyungwon be able to show him that his own life is worth living, even if he doesn't reach the top?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello bebes!! ^^
> 
> I'm back with Changkyun's chapter. His sin is envy and it was honestly the most difficult one to represent without moving into different sins, like greed or wrath. I tried to make his character deep but simple enough to represent his pure envy towards people who had better lives, and I hope I managed to do a good job! 
> 
> Tell me what you think about this chapter!
> 
> Also, next week there will be the last one, in which everything will be explained. If you've been with me throughout this journey, you'll get all the answers from Hyungwon himself!!
> 
> TW: mention of an underage abandonment, as always nothing too explicit. Mention of war and rebellious acts. 
> 
> I hope you'll enjoy this chapter!!

CHANGKYUN – ENVY

The music was loud, echoing throughout the room.

Changkyun spun the microphone between his fingers, taking a deep breath without moving his eyes from his own reflex figure in the big mirrors of the practice room. He didn't care about the other trainees, who were sitting on the ground in a corner. His mind was focused on the melody he knew by heart, on the test of the song he was about to sing. Most importantly, his main focus were the two serious men who had come to judge their monthly performance. They didn't say a word, not even a greeting, they just sat on the chairs beside the laptop and they wrote on a little notebook some comments about each trainee.

Changkyun knew that was his occasion.

Changkyun was aware of his talent as a singer. He was charming and charismatic, he had learned how to catch the attention of the public with his deep and sensual voice, which was his strong point and the main feature of each of his performances. Through the years, Changkyun had also learned that showing a strong confidence to the audience was the only way to hide his shy and introverted character. He had always hated that part of himself, always so insecure and weak, and he had always tried to hide it.

With a gesture from one of the two men, a song started to play and Changkyun moved the microphone in front of his mouth. Then, quick and confident, he started to rap, moving on the rhythm of the song and letting the music become part of his own being. Changkyun was a professional and he had practiced so long and so hard that he was sure of his abilities and his technique.

Changkyun loved music, in any form. His father used to spend days in his office, listening to his favorite artists while a little Changkyun was sitting on an old armchair drawing in silence or doing his homework. That passion developed through middle school, when his father had gifted him an acoustic guitar for Christmas. He had learned how to play it by himself in a few months, starting to write new melodies soon after. A school peer had told him about those super cool guys who used to perform in the middle of the streets near universities. Changkyun had watched them with shining eyes, longing for the same confidence. For that reason, one night he decided to just bring his guitar and start to play. He covered his head with a black hat and tried to muster all his courage. There, for the first time, Changkyun had learned what being the center of attention means, and he felt in love with that feeling. Day after day, he became less shy and more confident, to the point of showing some of his creations.

Playing on the street meant interacting with all kinds of people. On one fortunate occasion, Changkyun had met some guys who were hip hop dancers and, without asking for any permissions, he just started to follow them around. He wasn't really interested in being their friend, but they were cool and talented, and he was so interested in that new singing technique which seemed to adapt perfectly to his new deep and manly voice. There, rapping, was the only place where he could be himself. Day after day, Changkyun learned a lot from those people, filling his playlist of songs that his father hated, but that Changkyun felt so perfect to express his own soul.

But no matter how hard Changkyun was working, he was never able to reach the same level of those talented guys. He envied their talent and their confidence, he envied their stage presence and how they were able to charm the audience with just a couple of sentences and gestures. Changkyun wanted to be like them. To be honest, he wanted to be better than them.

Changkyun had started to think about becoming an idol in high school. Of course he knew the most popular ones and he sometimes had watched them performing on television, but before that moment he had never thought about making his passion for music a real job. During his first year, however, one of the seniors in his school had debuted in a group, and he had gained so much recognition both in the school and outside. That boy had everything Changkyun had always wanted: he was charismatic, friendly, always nice and altruistic, he was talented and his family and friends supported him in his dream. The young Changkyun, however, had just entered a new stage of his life, a phase full of changes that made him feel out of place, different. The young Changkyun envied that senior, of which he could barely remember the name. And that envy was the fuel for another change in his life. Changkyun decided to become an idol: if others could do it so easily, why couldn't he? He would have become famous, he would have reached that same level, even higher. He would have shown his father, his peers and the whole world that he was the best. He wanted to arrive at the top, at the point where there would have been no other better than him, no one else that he could have envied.

Changkyun started to show up in various auditions, growing a huge disdain for those people who never gave him more than a glance. Changkyun knew he was talented, he knew his performances were the best. Why couldn't they see it? He started to train even harder, always trying to improve every single aspect.

Being accepted in a company became Changkyun's most important priority. He started to skip school and to tell lies to his father, spending whole days with those young artists or somewhere alone, always writing something new. His father didn't take long to discover what he was really doing, and he didn't hesitate in giving him an ultimatum. Changkyun didn't even need the time to think: that same night he packed all his clothes and his guitar and he left home. That's how Changkyun started to wander through the city, sobbing by himself. He decided to spend the night in the park since it was still warm enough outside, and he sat on an old bench, his cheeks still damp because of the tears and a growing anger in his chest. Suddenly, he heard some noise and on the other part of the path he saw a happy family, with the parents and the two children. In that moment Changkyun felt like something broke inside of him: he didn't deserve all of this. He didn't deserve to cry and be kicked out of his house just because he wanted to follow his dream. He deserved a supporting family, someone who could really love him. That day Changkyun promised to himself that his success would have been the best revenge against his father: he would have shown him what a great son he had lost.

It didn't pass a week and Changkyun finally got accepted into a company. It wasn't one of the top three of the country, but it was fairly big and it had some pretty famous artists and actors. It was the best place for Changkyun.

For the first time in ages, Changkyun started to think that luck was coming his way. The agency provided for him a bed in a dormitory and some spending money. They weren't much, but it was definitely better than living under a bridge. It was a starting point.

Or, that was what he believed. The second day, in fact, Changkyun discovered that the top five trainees received more money to spend for their personal expenses and they even had the chance to train with some special teachers. _It's not fair, I should be one of them_ , he thought to himself. Envy created jealousy and then rage, feelings that Changkyun was starting to feel way too familiar and that, once again, acted as his jumping board towards success.

It wasn't the first time that Changkyun had decided to actively do something to take someone else's place, a place that he wanted because he couldn't accept to be the only one without those privileges. There had been many occasions, in the past, when Changkyun had started to want something just because someone else had it, and he always found a way to get it, no matter the consequences.

This time it wasn't different. According to the company rules, the top five trainees were chosen through a monthly evaluation. After his arrival, Changkyun placed sixth, and he had got even angrier when he had discovered the special benefits for the top five. He remembered the rage towards those five young boys, who clearly had nothing more than him if not more attention and more possibilities to debut. Changkyun wanted to get all of that, he wanted those money, he wanted to train with special teachers, he wanted the permission to greet the artists of the company and to ask for some suggestions. He wanted to debut, he wanted to arrive in their same place, he wanted to arrive even higher, taking everything from them and even more.

That was the reason why that monthly evaluation was particularly important for him. And because he didn't regret what he had done in the past weeks to another top trainee, Sihoon, who had left the company some days before. To be completely honest, Changkyun had done nothing wrong. Sihoon was indeed hiding a pack of cigarettes in his locker, which was one of things trainees were forbidden to keep. Changkyun had just told the manager what he had seen, it wasn't his fault if Sihoon had broken a rule, and he wasn't really interested in keeping a secret for someone he considered a rival. The fact that Changkyun hated Sihoon and his stupid talent for dancing was just a coincidence. Of course Changkyun wanted his place, but Sihoon was at fault and there was no reason for Changkyun to feel guilty over something so petty.

Knowing that one of the top five trainees had left increased Changkyun's confidence by a lot. He knew he could take his place, he knew he could climb even higher. And after finishing his performance, Changkyun knew that one of those five places was his. He just had to hope that the judges were competent enough to recognize it.

“You improved a lot since the last evaluation”, his rap teacher said with a smile. “There were some little mistakes, and be careful of how you pronounce some words. But you did a great job, Changkyun”.

In those words, Changkyun couldn't help the smile on his lips. He bowed, extremely thankful and proud of himself.

“There are still things you can improve'', another judge said. “Take Donghwan, for example. You're both rappers, but he's more fluid and confident and he even included a choreography to his performance. You should ask for some advice”.

Changkyun nodded, holding his fists to avoid showing his anger. Donghwan was the number 1 between the trainees, and he was the person Changkyun hated the most in that company. He was one of the trainees who most likely would have debuted in the next group. He knew how to sing, rap, dance, compose music and write lyrics. On the top of all of that, he was also extremely handsome, he was tall and with a small face, and his skin was light and fair, without those horrible acne scars that Changkyun loathed so much of himself. He was the perfect idol, he was everything Changkyun wanted to be. He was the biggest obstacle towards his dream: to debut, Changkyun had to take everything that Donghwan had, he needed to become perfect.

Changkyun placed fifth at the monthly evaluation. Despite the compliments, he wasn't satisfied. He had climbed just a step, a little and insignificant step. He didn't care anymore about the money nor about the special teachers. Now that he had gotten into the top five, he needed to keep fighting to climb even higher. At that point, Changkyun wasn't even sure of what he wanted. He just knew that he had to get away from Donghwan and the other trainees. Only that way, he could have been perfect, without anyone better than him to obscure his presence.

That night Donghwan invited him to a dinner with the other trainees, and despite his hate for all of them, Changkyun accepted. After all, he should keep closer to his biggest enemy to discover some points to destroy him.

For the whole dinner, Donghwan had been extremely friendly and kind, ignoring Changkyun's resistance and his rudeness. To be honest, Changkyun was having a difficult time keeping his mouth shut, because there were so many things he would have wanted to say, but they would have ruined everything. Most importantly, Changkyun hated -yes, again- Donghwan's friendliness. That guy was everything Changkyun had never been: easy going, extrovert, kind. On the other hand, Changkyun had always been timid and terrified of his own emotions, unable to understand them. And in that moment he couldn't even understand how that boy could behave so friendly with someone he was in a competition with. They were all rivals, they were fighting for the same place, how could they become friends? If one part of him wanted to be able to relax and enjoy the night, an even bigger part knew that he couldn't relax, not until he had gained everything for himself. Only if he was at the top, without anyone above him, he could have finally relaxed.

“Where did you learn how to rap”, Donghwan asked him.

“With some hyungs”, he just replied.

“Did you perform on the street?”, Jihoon, another trainee, asked.

“I did, but it's nothing special”.

“I'm sure it helped a lot with learning how to perform in front of many people”.

Changkyun had to fight a smile in front of those compliments. “A little”, he admitted.

“Donghwan is amazing on the stage”, Changbin said. “I saw a performance of some years ago and he was already a professional”.

This time Changkyun had to hold himself to avoid insulting that boy. Weren't they talking about him? Who cared if Donghwan was amazing. Before he could say anything, however, Changbin revealed a phone he had been hiding the whole time and he looked for the video he was talking about.

Changkyun watched that boy in silence. Changbin had a phone, another forbidden item for the trainees, especially if they had SNS accounts. And apparently Changbin had more than one, as he told with some kind of pride. What an idiot, Changkyun thought to himself while the boy was chatting all excited. Changkyun didn't have a phone. His father had broken his when he had left and he didn't have enough money to eat, let alone buying a phone. Not that he really needed it, he was way too busy with his training to spend time on stupid SNS. But, once again, Changkyun felt that rage and envy burning his stomach. If Changbin had a phone, then Changkyun wanted to have one as well. Changkyun was realistic enough to know that it wasn't that simple, and this awareness made him even angrier.

For this reason the next day he wrote an anonymous advisory and he silently watched Changbin packing his belongings before the end of the week, leaving the company without even saying goodbye. Once again, Changkyun didn't regret his actions, nor did he pity the boy. If he couldn't have a phone, then no one else would have. It was the rule. And, once again, the fact that Changbin was one of the top rappers was just a coincidence. He made a mistake, he paid for it. Changkyun was just smart enough to be at the right place at the right time to climb another step towards success.

That night, Changkyun went to sleep with a smile on his lips. In less than two months he had already achieved so much, getting so close to reaching the top. Only then he could have enjoyed his life, gaining everything for himself: love, attention, fame and success. He didn't care whom he had to fight or what he had to do. Nothing, no one could have stopped him. Not anymore.

\---

_Hyungwon sighed, a sad expression on his beautiful face._

_That universe had been extremely unfair with his younger friend. Changkyun had always been a lovely and kind boy, someone aware of his strong points and how to use them not only for himself, but also for the others. He was someone that knew how to be himself even without taking anything from the others._

_Hyungwon had found this Changkyun so afraid and unsure of his own abilities. Despite his pride in his talent, he clearly didn't believe enough in himself since he was so afraid of the other's success. It has been so hard watching him jeopardize himself to get himself into an higher position._

_That wasn't the Changkyun he knew and that he loved and, once again, Hyungwon felt so powerless._

_For the last time, he turned the wheel on the side of the watch, with the hope of showing this version of his friend a less self-destructive way of living his dream._

\---

The place where he woke up looked familiar.

He was in a dark room. From the little light Changkyun assumed it was a basement or a forsaken building. The plaster on the walls had peeled off with the time and they were crossed by countless small and big cracks. The ceiling was in a similar bad condition and it was covered by an intricate mesh of water pipes and beams, interrupted with old neon lights, only a couple of them still working.

It was an unwelcoming place, but there was something familiar and warm about it.

Changkyun looked around. The place looked empty of both objects and people and the only sign or human presence was a strange blue light that was coming from under a door at the farthest wall of the room. Changkyun took a deep breath and started to walk towards it, the only sound of the room were his shoes tapping on the linoleum floor. Changkyun hesitated for a moment, but then he decided to follow his curiosity and he opened the door. After all, he could have found a quick excuse if there was someone inside, telling for example he got lost.

Changkyun found himself in another room, smaller than the one before and definitely in better conditions. The space was lightened up with two strong headlamps, shining on the center of the room. There, behind a couple of transparent panels Changkyun could see some tables and an incredible number of screens on the top.

What kind of place was that?

Moved by his curiosity, Changkyun closed the door, watching that peculiar room. It looked like one of those bad spy movies that his father used to watch when he was little. On the tables there were dozens of computer screens, of various dimensions and all of them were black. The panels were covered by thousands of papers, photos, post-its and random writings, names or even mathematics formulas he couldn't understand. On the other side, Changkyun saw a couple of loudspeakers and even a target to play darts.

Before he could take another step, the door opened again and two people entered the room. Changkyun stiffened, getting ready to excuse himself and leave, but he froze on the spot when he saw the two men on the face. What was _he_ doing there?

The two men, however, didn't even notice him and they walked to the tables, sitting down in their chairs.

The blond one was the first one who spoke. “You did it”. It wasn't a question and the other man, the one who looked so similar to him, just nodded, switching on the computer in front of him.

“I suppose you noticed that we took the gasoline jug from the greenhouse”, he replied.

“That was one of the reasons. I also know that someone used the serum”.

His alter ego turned to watch his friend, his eyes opened wide and a surprised expression. “What do you mean?”

The blond shrugged in his shoulders, playing with a little ball he had found on his desk. “Exactly what I said. Minhyuk used the serum”.

Changkyun didn't answer, he just furrowed his eyebrows, probably trying to understand the meaning of those words. Then he nodded slowly, turning back to face his computer with an emotionless expression.

“You did a good job today, Changkyun-ah”, the other man said after a couple of seconds.

“I just did my job”, his lookalike replied, who not so surprisingly had his same name. “Minhyuk and Hoseok-hyung were the ones who set the house on fire. My job was being the lookout and now deleting the recording from the cameras on the streets”.

“Exactly, you did a great job, as the others. You should know that doing something impressive isn't the most important thing”.

“Of course I do know, Jooheon”, his alter ego replied, placing his glasses on his nose and starting to type something. “You should also know that I didn't join the X CLAN to do impressive actions and be the center of attention”.

Jooheon laughed and Changkyun, the one from reality, grimaced at those words. What an idiot, what was the point in living a life hiding behind the others, especially if you have the abilities to shine and enjoy all the attention?

“It's amazing how different you are from the hacker of the other CLANs, Changkyun. I met some of them and they are all rude and arrogant, like they should take all the merits for each job. Our maknae is honest and a hard worker. Not to mention his passion for bikes with shining pom pom and stuffed animals”.

At those words his alter ego blushed and hid his eyes behind his hairs. “Stop with this nonsense and get to work”, he replied, unable to hide a smile.

“You didn't deny the part of the maknae”, Jooheon giggled, throwing the little ball to his friend's shoulders, who turned his chair a little to show a smirk.

“I don't need the merits for our job”, he said, turning again to his computer. “Especially when they are not mine. I'm not the only member of the X CLAN, after all”.

Jooheon nodded. “You're right. Everyone has an important role”.

The Changkyun from reality grimaced, folding his arms in front of his chest. What nonsense. He didn't know in detail what the two men were talking about, but it was clear that they didn't know anything about how the real world works. Working in teams is a waste of time, especially for someone who wants to reach a higher position. Where's the point if the team takes the merit, and not the single person who worked hard for it? For that reason Changkyun always worked alone: it was the only way to keep everything for himself. After all, success, fame and money can't be shared.

But...

“We'll win this war, Hyung. One way or another”.

Jooheon nodded again. “I know. But it won't be easy. And sometimes the most difficult thing is finding a balance within the CLAN himself. We have a common enemy, but there is always the risk or arguing and ruining everything. This is why it's so important that everyone has a specific role, in this way the CLAN can work as a perfect machine”.

“You're doing a great job with the CLAN, Jooheon. Don't get too stressed, we all respect you”.

“Aren't you upset about always working behind the others? Sometimes I wonder about this...”.

His lookalike shrugged in his shoulders. “As you said, every role is important. And someone has to do this anyway, I'm actually happy that I can help with something so important. Without checking the cameras we couldn't even move within the city. Remember that I didn't join to be the main character, I gladly leave that role to you, Mr. Magical Blue Flowers”, he concluded with a laugh.

Jooheon sighed. “You're really amazing, Changkyun-ah. And a really special part of the clan, I hope you never forget this”.

“I'm not special, Hyung. None of us is. We're just human beings''.

At those words the room started to spin in front of Changkyun's eyes, the colors and the sounds becoming a confusing mess. Changkyun could have never agreed with that kind of mentality. Being the center of the attention was the most important thing for Changkyun, especially since he wanted to become an artist, someone who is always in front of the cameras. And in show business, those who don't shine enough get forgotten. Changkyun didn't want to be forgotten, though, he wanted to shine, he wanted to be at the top, with no one above him, at exactly the center of everything. He couldn't understand how someone can live behind the others. Most importantly, he couldn't understand how working in a team could be so important. What's the point in living if you're not the main character?

However, that young man looked so confident of his own words. Confident and satisfied with his job, as if people had ever cared about a lousy background extra.

No, Changkyun was right... Wasn't he?

\---

_For the last time, Hyungwon had completed his job._

_Once again, he had witnessed a moment he couldn't see in his universe. However, that wasn't the first time he had seen Changkyun and Jooheon's “magic room”, the one they used to plan and put into action all their missions. If the greenhouse was the place they used to meet and discuss, that room was the place where the X CLAN came into life._

_Hyungwon had always been proud of Changkyun, their quiet and smart maknae. He was always ready to help his friends, no matter how difficult a situation could be, but he never did anything for his own sake. He was an important part of their group, without him the greatest part of their missions couldn't even take place._

_He didn't care about being the main character, but he definitely was the main character of his own life. He had learned that everyone has a value, no matter how big it is their contribute. And Hyungwon hoped that also this Changkyun could learn that envy isn't the right way towards happiness, and not even success. Only accepting himself, with his own flaws and merits, he could really shine. Not by comparing himself to the others, but by being his real self._

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with this, we've almost concluded our journey in this universe. 
> 
> What do you think of this Changkyun? 
> 
> Kidos and comments are always welcomed!!


	8. HYUNGWON - PRIDE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon is lost.   
> The belief of being able to control time and space brought him to a place where both time and space didn't matter.   
> Will he be able to find his way back home?   
> And what will the rest of the X CLAN do after Hyungwon's disappearance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ehi bebes!! ^^
> 
> We've finally reached the end of this chapter. Last but not least, we have Hyungwon, and his sin is Pride. This chapter is highly focused on Destroyer, from which I got the inspiration for the setting, and I tried to adapt it to my story. 
> 
> I hope you've enjoyed this story as much as I did while writing it. This story has a special place for me, not just because it's inspired by my favorite MVs from Monsta X, but because I've written it throughout the past two years, which have been really difficult (not just for me, but for everyone in this fandom I believe). I started writing this after my first concert in July 2019, stopped after what happened in October, and then started again in April 2020, when we got our bunny back. It was a long journey, and I'm proud of what it became.   
> Also, it's my first full work in English, and this was a huge challenge for me. I still have to improve a lot, but I think this was a good start. 
> 
> I think I've talked enough, but I also wanted to say something to all the people who have taken some time to read this story in the past weeks. It wasn't easy to keep up with the chapters because at the beginning they don't really make sense by themselves, and the story starts to become interesting after you understand what is happening.   
> So, thank you to everyone who gave this story a chance, to all the people who left kudos or comments. I hope you enjoyed this!!
> 
> Now, this is really the end. 
> 
> Enjoy the last chapter!

HYUNGWON – PRIDE

When Hyungwon opened his eyes, everything was white.

The last thing he could remember were the car accident, his father and the watch. What happened? Did he turn back time? Or did he fail? Was he dead?

Suddenly, the space around him started to whirl, creating countless colors and sounds and throwing his body on a cold and hard floor. Hyungwon gasped, realizing for the first time he still had a physical body, and that he could still feel physical sensations like pain.

Moaning, Hyungwon moved his long legs and managed to sit up. He was still holding his father's watch. Did it really work? He wasn't in the middle of the street, after all.

Slowly, Hyungwon got up, taking notes of his surroundings. It looked like a carriage of an underground train. The floor was painted with a cold and sad gray, a little lighter compared to the color of the walls. The seats were running along the two faces of the wagon and they were both green and light blue. Hyungwon noticed immediately that everything was completely clean and new.

_Where was he?_

Suddenly, the train -was he even _on_ a train?- started to move, slowly and then faster. Through the windows Hyungwon could see the dark tunnels of an underground railway, illuminated by a couple of sporadic lights.

_Where was he going?_

The train didn't have any sign with a name or something that could hint the direction or the origin of that train. It looked like a normal train, but it was also clear that it was somehow special. It was also clear that Hyungwon wasn't leaving for a holiday.

After a couple of minutes in which the only sound was the clattering noise of the train on its rails, it started to slow down, entering a completely empty station and stopping in front of a platform. The doors opened and, a couple of doors apart from Hyungwon, a man with a hoodie deep on his head boarded on the train. He looked like a man, even if his face couldn't be seen from far away.

That person waited for the train to take off again and he sat on one of the seats. He was keeping his eyes down and didn't even look at Hyungwon, who started to walk towards him.

“Excuse me?”.

The man didn't even move, ignoring him also when he sat on the same seat, as far as it was possible.

“I'm sorry, Sir. Can I ask you a question?”.

Once again, the man didn't answer.

Hyungwon didn't know what to do. He was scared and he didn't know if he could trust that man. However, he was the only human presence in that place, and Hyungwon needed answers to understand what was happening to him. At that moment, the train entered another station and the man got up, standing in front of the door.

“The watch was broken”, he said, his voice almost covered by the sound of the train.

Hyungwon watched him, confused. “What do you mean, broken? The watch wasn't...”. He looked at the watch and for the first time he noticed that beside the cracks on the face, also one of the lateral wheels wasn't in its place anymore.

“Where is this place? What happened?”.

“You're in a limbo”, the man said. “It's what exists between universes”.

Hyungwon shook his head, while the train started to slow down again. “I don't understand. This watch was supposed to bring me back in time. I chose the right year”.

“It was broken”, the man repeated.

“How can I go home? What happened to my friends? Did I even do something in my world?”. The train stopped in front of a platform which looked exactly the same as the one they had stopped before.

“I can't answer, I'm sorry”, the man whispered, taking a step towards the door which had opened in front of him.

“No, wait!”, Hyungwon exclaimed, jumping on his feet. He was so scared and confused, he didn't want to be alone. “Don't leave me here. How can I go home?”, he asked again.

The man got off the train, turning a bit to show the profile of his face. He was quite old, at least judging from the white beard which covered the chin and the cheek. “This is your punishment”, he said before the door closed. “You have to find your way back by yourself. Good luck”.

Then the door closed and the train left again.

At those words Hyungwon slided on the floor, holding his legs to his chest and crying.

What did he do?

\---

The time, in that place, was definitely something strange.

Hyungwon couldn't say how much time passed since his arrival. Minutes, hours, days, months, years. Nothing changed, around him. The train kept going, stopping every few minutes to identical stops and then leaving again. No one, beside that mysterious man, ever boarded that train. And Hyungwon was sure that he had never seen no one on the platforms. Ever.

_This is your punishment._

Hyungwon took his time to reflect on those words. Punishment for what? For using the watch? For using a broken watch? For traveling through time? What was exactly the sin that he had to atone for? And what should he do to expiate it? Just... waiting?

_You have to find your way back by yourself._

Those words were his only ray of hope. They meant that somehow he could really go back home, that somewhere, in that place without an end or a beginning, he could find his home. He just had to understand how.

Surely, he was sure that doing nothing was the key to get forgiveness for his sins -whatever they were- and find a way to go back. For this reason, Hyungwon started to explore the train. Like the stops, also all the wagons were exactly identical. The same linoleum and gray floor, the same white lights on the ceiling, the same seats covered with blue and gray fabric. It was like that train was actually infinite, without a real end and no matter how far Hyungwon thought he was going, nothing around him changed.

The train, he supposed, didn't have the answers he was looking for. Which meant that he had just another option, exploring the outside. 

When the train stopped at the next station, Hyungwon was in front of the doors. He was scared of leaving a place that had always been safe, but he couldn't stay there, blocked in that limbo without doing anything for eternity. He was ready to do anything to go back to his family.

The station was exactly as he imagined it. It was completely empty, silent and cold. The doors of the train closed behind him and it started to move again. Hyungwon watched the train leaving, observing the wagons following each other without never ending. That train had surely a head, but it probably didn't have a tail. Which meant that Hyungwon could go back on the train anytime he wanted, he just had to wait for it to stop again.

In the meanwhile, Hyungwon started to explore the station.

It looked like an ordinary underground station, with big stairs to reach the floors above, some vending machines for instant coffee and some uncomfortable benches which used to be painted with a bright yellow paint, almost completely peeled off. Beside that, there was nothing else. No signs that could hint where he was -was he even on Earth anymore?- or where he could go with that train.

While he was walking on the platform, Hyungwon saw on the farthest side a little door, which was probably reserved for the staff. The boy followed his instinct and he decided to look inside that room. He found a little room full of dust, a wooden table in the middle, a chair and some shelves. On one of them there was a box with various objects, probably things people had lost.

At that moment, Hyungwon had an idea.

He took the watch from his wrist, observing it from the yellow light that was coming from a lamp on the ceiling. Maybe he could repair it. Of course, he wasn't an expert in watches, he honestly had no idea where to start from. But he had studied those papers about that particular watch for days, maybe he had some chances to really do something. Maybe he just needed to replace the little wheel that had disappeared in the accident to make the watch working again.

Moved by a newly found confidence, Hyungwon forgot the train and started to look for something he could use in all those boxes full of objects.

He threw on the table all the screwdrivers and all the screws he could find and he jumped out of joy when he discovered an old pocket watch buried under tons of useless stuff. It was broken, but it could resolve his problem.

In that way, Hyungwon sat on the chair and started to work on the watch. Once again, he couldn't say how long he passed there. Hours, days, months. Not that he really cared, not anymore. Thanks to what he had studied he managed to disassemble the watch and replace the missing wheel with another one from the pocket watch he had found. It wasn't the same color or kind, but it seemed to work. To try the watch, Hyungwon decided to go back to the train and, before this left for its next stop, he turned the wheel just a little, looking as the hands moved. 

That was how Hyungwon started to travel throughout universes.

\---

Hyungwon learned quite fast how to use the watch once he managed to repair it. Every station represented a different universe and, as the mysterious man explained to him, the train was some kind of limbo which crossed all of them. The watch seemed to have some kind of power to decide the next station where he could stop, since when he used it, the train didn't just stop every few minutes, but kept traveling through the tunnel until it reached the right destination. It was clear that the human knowledge about what really existed outside the Earth was minimal, if not completely nonexistent, and Hyungwon was somehow proud to be able to discover all of that.

With time, Hyungwon started to understand what was his mistake and what he was being punished for. Hyungwon, in the same way as those scientists who had created the watch with the purpose of controlling time and space, had sinned of pride. They believed to be above human laws, to be able to defeat the present and to change the past. They were too prideful, too confident of their own abilities.

And to atone for his sin, Hyungwon couldn't do anything more than keep traveling and checking all the universes, with the hope of finding his real one sooner or later. Without any superior power, with just his own strength.

While he was exploring one of the countless universes, Hyungwon found the first of his friends. Or, to be cleared, another version of his friends, who were living in different universes. Watching the life of those people who looked so similar to what he considered his family, Hyungwon decided to help them. He didn't know how he knew he could do that, he just did it. And he didn't even know if it was the right thing, or if it could create problems within the universes. Hyungwon wanted to help them, even if all he could do was show them fragments of his memories.

The truth was that Hyungwon wasn't sure he would have ever returned home. As much as he tried to be positive, he was aware of the fact that he was lost in a limbo, without any indication of how to go back or what to look for. But he didn't have any other choice. The time in that limbo was infinite and his only chance was to keep trying and trying again.

After all, Hyungwon wasn't sure about anything anymore. That experience had taught him that men, as mortal beings, have limits they can't overtake. Space and time are probably the most important, since they represent a dimension that goes above all human understanding. And maybe this awareness could help him gain his forgiveness, or at least was that he was hoping for. He couldn't find his way back with the watch, the “easy way”, he had to work hard for it, and that was probably the most important lesson ever.

\---

Weeks had passed and Hyungwon was still missing.

The X CLAN was in utter chaos.

After the accident and his father's death, none of them had discovered where the son had gone. The police hadn't found him at the place of the accident and he didn't appear in any of the hospitals of the region, not even the whole country. Changkyun and Jooheon passed days to check each hospital's register to find someone that could be their friend, but they didn't find anything.

After confusion, fear came.

What if the government had kidnapped him? After all, also the watch had disappeared. Jooheon was sure it wasn't on the father's body and Minhyuk and Shownu hadn't found it nor in their home nor in his father's office.

However, not all of them had lost their hope.

After finding the solution of that strange equation, Kihyun and Hoseok had never stopped to study those formulas, aware of the fact that there was something more that they couldn't understand. Something that could help them to find their friend.

At that point, the fight against the government had become a secondary problem. The X CLAN couldn't exist without Hyungwon, he was as important as all of them and they would have never stopped to look for him.

None of them, to be honest, had any idea of the journey they were about to start, but they were ready to do anything to bring back their brother. After all, the X CLAN wasn't just an organization to stop the government, they were friends, they were a family. And a family never gives up on each other.

Even if it meant to fight the universe itself. Everything, if they could be together again, one day.


End file.
